Archive for April 2012

Sex and the Secret Service

Headline news: Secret Service reels from prostitution scandal in Colombia.  Some Secret Service agents will Most likely be canned. For undercover work upon The lay of the land.

Happy Birthday, Ann Lois Romney

One day after my grandson Holden turned 4, Ann Romney turns 63. May I take this opportunity to heartfeltly wish her the happiest of birthdays. A loving wife and mother of five sons, she  is indeed  a remarkable person.  A child of affluence who married into affluence, she has led a life of noblesse oblige. “I... Read more »


Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah is in a lather and his pants are bunched up.  His angst and agita are off the charts.  He’s in panic mode.  He’s suffering from a severe case of Obamaphobia. Obamaphobia, of course, is endemic among Republicans. Senator Lee has just come down with the latest strain. He  contracted it from  Obama’s  recess... Read more »

The Trivial Pursuit of Medicine

I love trivia. What the New York Times calls— in a series of books— “useless information” has always been a guilty pleasure of mine.  For example, did you know a caterpillar has four thousand muscles? Don’t ask me how many abs or delts. That would be above my pay grade. The iconic  science fiction writer, Isaac... Read more »

Don't Mess with Friday the 13th

  If you suffer from triskaidekaphobia, today is not  your red-letter day.  Me? Knock on wood, I’m not the superstitious type.    Friday the 13th is just another day.  This  irrational belief that the numeral’13’ is unlucky— like so many superstitions— has been  handed down to us from the dark recesses of the distant past. In his book,... Read more »

Trading Places: A-Rod in Drag?

Tribune  Sports Update: The New York Post reports that the director of an independent movie about Salvador Dali wants Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez to play a drag queen.. I can picture A-Rod at the plate Or frolicking out on a  date. But on the big screen As a flaming drag queen? That’s an image his fans might... Read more »

Is A Fan From Dogpatch Responsible For Rose's Woes?

Derrick Rose has suffered a laundry list of injuries this NBA season. A left toe sprain put him out for 5 games; lower back spasms for 5 games; a right groin injury for 12 games; and a right ankle sprain for 1 and counting.   Is it that   he’s snake-bitten? Or  that  someone somewhere is impaling a... Read more »

Did Ozzie Get Off Easy?

Ozzie Guillen has issued a public apology for his inopportune encomium of Fidel Castro. He is  profusely contrite and penitent. His employer, the Miami Marlins, has seen fit to  suspend him for 5 games.   At a salary of $2.5 million a year, or approximately $15,432 a game, Guillen will forfeit $61, 728, or what’s known in... Read more »

Beauty and the Trout Pout

Cosmetic surgery is a booming business. According to Tamaron Hall on the Today Show this morning, there were 14 million nips and tucks of all sorts in 2011. Some try to  reverse the ravages of aging: the wrinkles, the crows’ feet, the sagging flesh.  Others seek a sexier, more alluring, look, a la breast enlargements or reductions. Or lip... Read more »

The Easter Shell Game

What is Easter without the egg? The two are inseparable. The egg by its very nature  has been for ages the symbol of new life.  In pagan cosmology, heaven and earth hatched from an egg. So it was inevitable that Christian tradition adopted the egg as an emblem of the Resurrection of Christ. By the 17th century... Read more »