Gym Fashion One oh-- What the F@!%

Sometimes I get a little bored on the machines at the gym, so I start to take notice in my surroundings. I have encountered some rather intriguing things lately. Things that shouldn't even matter in the gym. This is just so interesting that I have to say something. Excuse me, but what the actual fuck do some people wear to work out in?

I admit it; I have had my fair share of fashion faux pas at the gym, which frankly I don't even regret. I definitely thought that Stacy London from TLC's What Not to Wear was about to come out and kidnap me and tell me I'm ugly a few times, but that hasn't happened...yet. Here are some of my award winning gym ensembles:

Thug Life Look- A couple times I've worn sweats that were three times too big and a t shirt that was triple XL. I had to actually hold up the pants with a hair tie because I didn't have butt shorts underneath. I definitely looked like I could've been hoarding an AK47 strapped to my thigh.

1970s Basketball Star Look- I've worn knee high socks with shorts and a headband (could be mistaken as a sweatband.) Much to my dismay, I still had the swag of Will Farrell in Semi-Pro.

Thrift Store Poster Child Look- I've rocked some tees straight out of the vault, man. Park district style.

Regardless, I still think my ugly fashion choices aren't on the same level as THESE:

Repeat Article Offender- I totally get it, people don't do laundry every day. I understand the mindset of "yea I sweat today, but what's the point of washing it if I'm gonna sweat in it all over again?" POINT IS don't wear such a recognizable article if that's what you chose to do! That mustard yellow ASU hoodie is recognizable bro. Especially when you wear it every day. PEOPLE DON'T FORGET.

Jeans- I'm pissed I even need to include this. WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY? Do you personally enjoy the hot, wet, denim rubbing all up on your junk? Sounds to me like you'll gain a whole new understanding of the phrase, "feel the burn." It's literally offensive.

Clogs- I hope you forgot your Nikes/Pumas/Sketchers/Anything Else at home.

Baseball Hats- Maybe these are for people who have their sights set on their weight goals, literally. Tunnel vision style? Maybe it's to keep them focused? Less sweat drops from the hair? I'm not sure.

Gloves- Newsflash: you don't need these if you're not lifting.

Keep Your Tits in your Clothes- More power to ya if you’re trying to pick up some guys at the gym, but for the love of God and all that is holy, get a sports bra that supports /covers those puppies! I really can't enjoy my cardio while I hear the flapping on the treadmill next to me. I'm sorry.

My retinas are burning just thinking about this, I just had to share! I guess to each their own, right?

 

 

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