I've been diagnosed with a case of Bitch Face. Join me and my fellow sufferers as we conquer this together.
Everyone knows that girl or guy (typically a girl) that just looks pissed. 80% of the time. As you wonder why these ungrateful people wander before you, ever think that THEY CAN'T HELP IT?
It started in high school. Friends and peers would say, "You looked so mad walking to fourth period!"... "Oh, I was just zoning out! I didn't even notice, everything was cool.” I would reply.
(Why would anyone be thrilled walking to algebra? Sorry I forgot my confetti and fog horn in my locker.)
It continued at dance competitions, school, and eventually into the night life scene.
The cause of this alleged bitch face case is largely because of my cheekbones. I guess they're slightly high and prominent. Sorry bout it. Because of this though, it makes me look like I'm constantly pissed when I'm not making a face. (Or so I've been told).
The Cure: There is none. Don’t try to create one.
Listen. Approaching someone with a case of bitch face probably isn't the best route to take if you’re looking for the bitch facer to crack a smile. I got approached twice in the same night, a night that I was having a grand time. "You've been looking pissed all night long." I translate that to, "I've been shadily watching you all night be fake mad." I then reply with, "I actually am having a great time...." and they say, "Oh. *awkward silence* Can I buy you a shot?" "Patron." So in your quest to become a drunk Dr. Phil, you've managed to be mistaken and spend $10 on a shot for the bitch face. Thanks, bro.
I spoke with some fellow bitch facers and they feel similar. By strangers telling you that you look pissed, in turn, makes you kinda actually pissed. It's just weird. Boys, you approach girls in any other way but addressing their mood, what is this? Elementary? Unless you’re a friend. Then that’s ok. But no chick is going to spill her life to a random stranger unless she’s blacked out or a wacko.
All in all, if I had to choose to look like the Joker or Overly Attached Girlfriend every second or sometimes looking like a slightly bitchy person, then I'll choose the latter.
- Because sometimes smiling is just unnatural