Posts in category "parenting humor"

If I Could Act Like a Toddler for a Day

If I Could Act Like a Toddler for a Day
I am sitting in a coffee shop, trying to work on an anti-bullying presentation, but my attention has been captivated by a mischievous toddler who is causing his poor mom all sorts of distress. The little guy shrieks and throws a package of cookies, and I gaze around, noting the range of emotions on the... Read more »

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting Skewered by Internet Commenters

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting Skewered by Internet Commenters
1)      Do not state facts. No matter how indisputable a fact is, someone will find a way to dispute it, and prove that you are a moron for not fact-checking your facts and you are a fool for acting like an expert on a topic that you clearly know nothing about. 2)      Do not state... Read more »

Trial By Internet: How To Blissfully Reject the Summary Judgment of Others

Trial By Internet: How To Blissfully Reject the Summary Judgment of Others
Recently, I was speaking with a group of parents and students about the negative effects of cyberbullying.  A seventh-grade girl told me tearfully, “I am constantly being judged.  Judged by kids I don’t know; judged by kids I do know, judged, judged, judged by EVERYONE.” It is a phenomenon that extends far beyond the world... Read more »
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I had no one to eat lunch with and no one to play with at recess.

I had no one to eat lunch with and no one to play with at recess.
“How was your day?” I asked Katie as we walked home. Okay,” she answered automatically and then retracted, “Well, sort of not okay.” “What happened?” I asked very casually. “I had no one to sit with at lunch and then I couldn’t find anyone to play with at recess.  Everyone ran away from me.” Of... Read more »

Top Ten Ways I Was a Perfect Mom Until I Had Kids

Top Ten Ways I Was a Perfect Mom Until I Had Kids
1. I will not bribe my kids.  They will behave because they have such great internal moral compasses, and complying will be what they want to do. Reality: I will let you eat Hershey kisses for breakfast if you stay in your bed tonight.  I will take you anywhere you want to go if you... Read more »