Regular yoga got your goat? Then try goat yoga!


Hello! May I come in and jump all over you during yoga?

Goat yoga. That's right. It's a thing now. Yoga with goats strolling about. As you do your downward-dog or rag doll, there are a bunch of goats in your immediate vacinity.

Apparently other forms of yoga just weren't makin' it - hot yoga, cold yoga, nude yoga (honest-to-Vishnu) - and so, for some arcane reason, a woman in Oregon - I'm guessing stoned - decided to introduce goats into the mix.  And the trend has spread, like dried manure in a wind storm.

Basically, a yoga class takes place, indoors or out (outdoors on straw), and goats come in and gambol about.  They cuddle with you, they sit on you, they stand on your back, they interfere with your yoga positions, they demand to be scratched.  One can only hope that they shit elsewhere, but who knows (that may account for the straw in the outdoor classes).

Here is an indoor goat yoga class:

As you can see, it's not your garden-variety ugly ol' nanny-goat who participates in goat yoga.  These are small, young, CUTE goats. They can actively participate in the yoga, or just mill about and provide psychic comfort and eye-candy as one stretches, etc.  (Sort of like the ring girls in boxing.  Or Vanna White.)

Questions abound.  Why goats?  How were goats chosen over, say, pigs? Piglets are pretty damned cute, and could just as easily pig-around in a yoga class.  Many people have those pygmy pigs as pets, so we know that pigs can behave themselves if they want to.

Or how about circus-size ponies?  Baby hippos?  Shar-peis? Capybaras?

The capybaras are noble beasts; they are the largest rodents on Earth.

(Capybaras are the largest - and most stern! - rodents on Earth.)

And this being America - Land of Wretched Excesss - you just KNOW it's a matter of time before the merch comes out - goat yoga mats, attire, CDs to play during.  And goat yoga franchises!  With names like Go-Yo Fitness, Goaties Gym or YogaGoat Express.

Just don't put one too near an Ethiopian restaurant.


THAT'S RIGHT…. come closer…. closerrrr…...

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Filed under: humor

Tags: goat yoga, goats, Vanna White, yoga

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