I blog, therefore I am. Here are 10 reasons why:
10. I'd rather write than do anything. / Well, anything vertical.
9. I'm not planning to run for office. / However, I love to bitch about who's IN office. Next to sex, baseball and fantasizing about winning the lottery, it's the Great American Pastime.
8. I can't dance. / I wrote about my two left tootsies in one of my first posts here. So I needed another (vertical) pursuit to occupy my free time.
7. I love to make people laugh. / I write a lot of satire, which I've always really dug. #dorothyparker #ermabombeck #davebarry #artbuchwald
6. It keeps me out of jail. / My last stint in the can (for cursing out a state trooper, in the nude while on absinthe - me, not him) was no picnic. 13 months in the company of only women, most of whom could bench-press me. I do miss the annual calf-roping competition, though. Who knew I had mad skills as a rodeo clown?
5. I'm trying to popularize a new blogging category. / You have your mommy blogs, your political blogs, your advice blogs - Welcome to the category of Borderline Sane, Yet Sexy!
4. Blogging is legal. / So much other fun stuff isn't; just sayin' (see point #6).
3. It keeps me off of free porn sites. / I mean, how many vids of Underwater Thong Nymphos can one watch before one runs out of batteries?
2. I'm spiritual, but not religious (point #3 aside) / Which means Catholic, Jewish or Islam-related rants are out. So I have to opine about other stuff. (Free hint: Never, EVER piss off an atheist. Trust me.)
1. It's one hell of a ripping challenge! / It ain't easy being amusing or angry or thought-provoking every few days in "print." Don't believe me? Then give it a shot, mate!
Hop into your saucer and come orbit Planet Michelle, baby! Just type in your e-mail address, over to the right and up (ooh … that's it … right there!), and you'll receive each sexy post I pull from my little monkey brain. No spam or name-selling, ever. My magnetic field awaits you!
(Please also feel free to e-mail me, like they did in Olden Times - planetMichelle4u@gmail.com)