Melania takes a call.

New York, NY.  Friday, 9:20 am.  First Lady Melania Trump is ensconsed in the penthouse of Trump Tower.  She is breakfasting on Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and oatmeal with mango chutney when her gilded phone rings. Melania Trump:  Yes? Donald Trump:  Hello, Melania.  It’s President Trump. MT:  Yes.  I remember.  Hello Donalt. DT:  How are... Read more »

The gnarly rise of deadly fake pot, and my memories of days gone high

I was a teenager of the 70’s.  That should tell you a few things. First, that I am rapidly approaching decrepitude. Second, that I hold a Ph.D. in Tetrahydrocannabinol Studies. We came by our pot organically (often, literally organically).  Everybody “knew a guy.”  None of this current fake pot laced with, of all things, rat... Read more »

Want to blog? Then deal in reality.

Here at ChicagoNow, there has been quite the kerfuffle over the past few days involving a post by one of our fellow bloggers, in which she stated her case for possibly leaving this platform. I’ve read this gal since her inception here, and she’s really good, so I hope she decides to stay.  But if... Read more »
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An open letter to annoying people

Dear Annoying People, Hello!  Michelle from the Planet Michelle blog here.  You know; that hilarious blog brought to you courtesy of ChicagoNow.com?  Whattya mean, you’ve never heard of it?  I’ve been busting my wordsmith-cojones here for nearly three years!  Remember that cool post I recently did on late, great, Chicago guitarist Terry Kath?  How about... Read more »

Welcome to Spinter!

Ah, springtime in Chicago! That lovely season that lasts about 21 days, beginning somewhere at the ass-end of April, no matter that the NOAA and your desk calendar and (trumpet fanfare, please) TOM SKILLING insisted that it began on March 20th. For we, the shivering, huddled masses of the Midwest know better. Some years, winter... Read more »

Having a gay old time - i.e., our ever-morphing language

Not only is the English language difficult, it morphs with regularity. Take the word “gay.”  Half the songs of the 30’s and 40’s sang of being happy and gay, being gay and bright and donning gay apparel.  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were always doing something gay and fun. Hell, even the Flintstones down in... Read more »
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I am not throwing away my shot. VOTE!

Another election is upon us this Tuesday. Are you going to vote? If you’re not, I want you to tell me to what in the hell you are doing that day that is more important. I had the good fortune to see Hamilton last weekend. Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past few... Read more »

10 blogs that didn't make it

There are now officially 35,413,781,024 blogs on The Internets (I counted). Blogs on every topic imaginable by myriad world citizens, some sane, with one thing in common: they all think that they have something dazzling to impart to the non-blogging populace. It takes talent, confidence (i.e., narcissism), no small amount of luck and a ripping... Read more »

Lipstick and Ray-Bans are the drug

Can it really be Blogapalooz-Hour again?  You know – that bewitching hour when we are given a topic by our ChicagoNow Grand Poobah and are expected, neigh, implored to produce a post of greatness in one hour.  So, on to greatness! This month’s topic is to discuss addiction – something we can’t live without. As... Read more »
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23 tabloid headlines - truth or bullplop?

Man, I love tabloids!  You know, the honest, credible ones, like the National Enquirer, the Weekly World News, Misinformed Monthly.  The rags you read on line at the grocery while sneak-eating grapes.  Things are always exploding, there are body parts where none belong, the dead live and the world is ending next Tuesday, According to... Read more »