MY CONVERSATIONS WITH A MUPPET

MY CONVERSATIONS WITH A MUPPET

Recently I’ve had several conversations with a help-desk support technician.  He’s inherently polite and attentive.  Plus, he is always eager to assist.  His sing-song voice lets me know he's chipper and ready to tackle anything.

There’s just one issue I struggle with…

He sounds like a Muppet.

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His voice is warm and unassuming.  There is no threatening persona here.  He speaks slowly and softly.

Clearly, he doesn't share my angst over the problems I'm facing. 

Plus, the fella’s interjections of “GOLLY” and “SHUCKS” throughout our conversations are bewildering.  These harmless exclamations are causing me to re-think his ability to actually help me during my current technical upheaval.

[SIGH]

Again, we can say this is due to my Snobby Mommy attitude.  Past experience shows that I need to drop the haughty approach.  After all, who am I to judge on his chosen vernacular?

I’ve always loved watching the Muppets, starting with Sesame Street and leading right into The Muppet Show on Sunday evenings.  I enjoyed the two old men seated in the balcony, constantly throwing insults at the cast.  The Swedish chef always made a mess in his kitchen, while Rolf the dog entertained the audience playing familiar tunes on the piano.

I feel for Kermit... who insists “It’s not easy being green.”

I’d love to tell Kermit the Frog that GREEN is my favorite color.  It’s reminiscent of the outdoors, with fresh air, sunshine and living things.  Green is spectacular, especially in the spring when the tree branches start bursting with fresh colors, from bright chartreuse to darker shades.

And I have compassion for Muppets, recently deeming my daughter’s decrepit jalopy “not fit for even a Muppet to drive.” Yes, even Fozzie Bear is much-too-precious cargo to risk in a vehicle that has seen better days.

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Lastly, one of my favorite holiday movies includes The Muppet Christmas Carol.  If you haven’t watched Gonzo team up with Rizzo the Rat as co-narrators, you’re missing out.  Their schtick is clever and amusing.  Grab a loved one, some hot cocoa and get ready to laugh.

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MEANWHILE, BACK TO MY TECH/MUPPET GUY…

“Yipes!” my IT gentleman cries out. “This one’s a doozy.”

Hmmm… still not certain if I should laugh or run.  Why isn't he freaking out like I am?!

But, what do I know?  His idiosyncratic remarks have a delightfulness to them.  Maybe he’s onto something… tossing in corny euphemisms throughout his humdrum day, all while he hums his own cheerful "hold" tunes.  It’s much better than the #@!* I overhear every morning while taking public transportation.  Plus, it’s rated G for General Audiences, so no worries there.

I regress.  Muppets really are adorable.  We should all aim to be more like them.

Therefore, I’ll try not to judge Mr. Tech’s adroitness based solely on his folksy conversations.  Indeed, it’s his [human] right to remain unpretentious and act as a happy Muppet.

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After all, in times of duress, I’ve been known to go into Miss Piggy mode and scream like nobody’s business.  I find it to be a useful stress-relieving technique.

Try it sometime yourself.  You can be a mild-mannered stage hand, a pearl-wearing diva, or drummer in a rock band.  Go ahead and channel your own, inner Muppet.

Thank you for reading.  PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST

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