Incomprehensible Corporate Mumbo Jumbo

‘Cause I Said So

Welcome to my random thoughts page entitled “'Cause I Said So.”  These are general musings, rants, observations and otherwise unimportant details I notice about life.  Enjoy and share.


Incomprehensible Corporate Mumbo Jumbo

Occasionally at work I have to research information on other companies and determine what their key functions are.  This boils down to my trying to determine what type of work the company employees do for a living.

Is it just me or are their “About Us” pages very vague?

I feel so stupid reading their descriptions.  I read.  And I re-read.

There are words tossed throughout with a cavalier hand -- jargon and descriptions that are meant to throw me off course.

And I still don’t get it as to what they do over there at ABC Company or at Acme Explosives, Inc.

twistedsifter-dot-com-road-runner

twistedsifter.com

Here are some fine examples...

What the what???

Our Asset Management platform offers investors proprietary access to floating rate middle-market loans sourced almost exclusively in the primary market.  Investors also benefit from our proven risk management processes and alignment with its balance sheet lending activities.

Sustainable and Renewable are the buzzwords lately…

Using our model, we have built some of the industry’s most successful programs.  We are continuously seeking to offer a compelling mix of product and process to specific industry niches where we can achieve sustainable and renewable growth.

And this is where I really get confused…

Advantages over conventional analytical analyses derive from robustness, rapidity and reliability of the methods and from the extensive use of suitable advanced algorithms for data processing.

Help.

Just because your Marketing Department flipped through the Thesaurus for robust [another buzzword] adjectives does not make it any more useful to folks like me.

Less Is More

Lucky for my readers, I’m keeping my own posts simple.  Therefore, I’ll tie this up with an unpretentious closing…

“Thank you for reading. “


H. Van Howe – PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST

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