I'm Putting in For A Name Change

“I’m going to change my name!”

Those are the words we used to hear from our mother when we were growing up.  Every day she heard us holler: “Mom. Mom? Mommmmm!!”

She got really tired of hearing us shout out "Mom!"  All – day – long.  I’m sure the three of us kids could be a real nuisance.

Some days at work I feel her pain.  “Heidi.  Heidi.  Heidi!  Can you do this?  I need that.  Is that project done yet?”

"Quiet please!"

SIGH.

I’m going to switch another, more striking name that sounds exotic when it’s called out.

Such as Tallulah Bankhead.

My hair will be silky and auburn colored.  I’ll wear a mink coat and men will rush to light my cigarettes.

Beautiful indeed!

bankhead

doctormacro.com

Another day I’ll respond only as Anne Baxter and answer accordingly in a sultry – yet innocent – voice.  They’ll never know what hit ‘em.

Hey, it worked on All About Eve.

all-about-eve

Eve vs. Margo / pop-verse.com

I might try out a name change at my upcoming high school reunion.  Will anyone do a double take if my name tag reads Bianca Jagger?

bianca_jagger-en-vogue-fr

bianca_jagger-en-vogue-fr

My husband tried this name change game when I brought him to my last high school reunion.  Naturally, he got away with it.  Using the nom du jour Hank Jablowski, he regaled others in untrue stories of pranks pulled on the coaches and teachers.

His listeners laughed and swore they remembered his stories:

"What a time we had back in the day!  [insert back slap]  Bartender, can I have another beer?"

Admittedly, he did make the reunion fun.

This type of ruse is definitely something to consider next time I find myself wishing I was taller… more beautiful… famous… and cunning.

Thank you for reading.

Yours truly,

Isabella Rosellini

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