Top 10 Missing Items

Our ChicagoNow editor always encourages us to write consistently in order to improve our writing.  His latest suggestion was about making lists.  We all make lists. Some are written down or just kept in our head for quick reference.  To be a good participant, I made a list of the endless missing items in and around our home.

1. Laundry item No. 1:  First on the list is socks.  No further comment needed.

2. Laundry item No. 2:  My blouse that I hand washed and hung up outside to dry on the patio chair.  Did it blow away in the wind?  Did a raccoon use it for a nest?  Did the creepy neighbor take it?

It reappeared weeks later when the landscaping crew was working by our house.  They found it underneath a bush and tossed it up against the back door.  How did they know it belonged to me?  I washed it again and hung it up to dry inside.

3. Bowls are missing or just broken. Cereal bowls are coveted at our house and somehow we never have enough.

Missing bowls lend to my security as chief cook and bottle washer.  My husband ran into the bedroom early one morning as I was getting ready for work: “Are there any clean bowls in the house?” he nervously asked. This is serious stuff.  Logically, he should check the dish drainer to see if there’s a clean one.  If all else fails, pull one out from the dishwasher and … wash … it … by … hand.

I keep purchasing plain white bowls so they match one another.  Naturally, the un-matched bowls with pictures of cartoon characters on them are never lost and are unbreakable.  This is because we got them for “free” after purchasing 5 boxes of cereal with high sugar content.

4. Shoes. I lost one shoe from my favorite pair – a chocolate-brown suede with an adorable flower on the toe.  After three years of searching for it, I surrendered and tossed the mate into the garbage.  Ironically I found the missing shoe later that summer, wedged under the driver’s seat in my car.

5. Earrings. See item 4, above.  Same story.

Photo taken day of interview; this proves I took notes.

This proves I took notes.

6. My writing notebook containing my notes from a great interview with a gregarious fellow writer.  In his spare time, he performs as George Pullman, the railroad magnate.  I must find this notebook so I can share his story.

7. More socks missing as of this morning.  This is a duplicate, but one worth repeating.

8. Home Depot receipt for the recently purchased Nest thermostat.  Once found, we can claim our $100 mail-in rebate.  I won’t bother here with the details of going through a week’s worth of garbage with vinyl gloves.

9. The TV remote: missing and found on a daily basis.

10. Chocolate in my secret cabinet at home.  Gone.  Again.

Author reserves right to revise list at any time.

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