Two Daughters, One Mother, So Many Wrongs

Nobody talks to me at school.
Well, let’s throw you a party and get you some friends.

Nobody talks to me at school.
Well, always carry a book or a journal with you so you’re never really alone.

One is too popular.
One is a loner.

One does well in school.
One continues to struggle.

One reads.
One writes.

One thinks she’s too pretty.
One thinks she’s not pretty enough.

One speaks her mind.
One let’s others walk all over her.

One texts.
One colors.

One is outgoing and competitive.
One is reserved and does not participate.

One has all of the attention.
One yearns for attention.

One is a leader.
One is a follower.

One is so self-absorbed.
One is so selfless.

One talks too much.
One doesn’t really talk at all. Not anymore.

One looks in the mirror.
One combs her hair in the dark.

One acts five years older.
One acts five years younger.

One has self-esteem issues.
One has self-esteem issues.

One is funny.
One is funny.

One is smart.
One is smart.

One is me at that age.
One is me at that age.

One grows up to be herself.
One grows up to be her mother.

They both need to be saved.

But there is only One of me.
There is only One right answer.

Nobody talks to me at school.
Well, let’s throw you a party and get you some friends.

Nobody talks to me at school.
Well, always carry a book or a journal with you so you’re never really alone.

Which One?

What if I’m Wrong?

*******
Thank you for reading.
Please feel free to contact me at pennamemom@gmail.com

Never miss a post by typing your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Comments

Leave a comment
  • fb_avatar

    My mother (actually nearly the whole family) suffered from depression. All but my mother got help but my mother thought being depressed was "normal" and people who took meds turned into "happy idiots". As a result my mother was a black hole of negativity who criticized constantly, even my sweet generous grandmother who lived with us. She had this twisted idea that "family" are those that have to accept and love us no matter what was said or done. The contrast was shocking with how she talked to and treated friends. She could be nastily haranguing me, the phone would ring and she would answer with this sugar-wont-melt-in-her-mouth voice. In addition, friends would extol the virtues of their kids, my mother never had anything good to say to them or to me. It took me quite a while to recover (thankfully I didnt get the depression gene) and I decided to treat family better than anyone, with respect, love, understanding and politeness.
    So based on that and my researches for the write my paper for me service I'd state there is a difference in reminders (the clothes need to be put away) vs criticism (why dont you ever put your clothes away) and orders (put your clothes away NOW.) And as often as possible give her choices so she feels more control and freedom, even let her come up with choices. Parents must decide what is important and what is not and only draw the line with really, really important stuff. Everything else can be up for negotiation.

  • Thank you for reading, Akemi. I appreciate you sharing your story with me about your mother and I'm happy to read that you took what you needed and made yourself understand what needed to change for you as an adult. Not everybody comes out "better" on the other side (speaking from experience with my own family), but I do believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I LOVE the reminder instead of the orders and criticism tactic. I, too, have to be better at communicating with my own children. Take care.

Leave a comment