Posts in category "Uncategorized"

An Open Letter To Metra

Hi there, For slightly more than a decade now, I’ve been a regular user of the Milwaukee District North Line, traveling out of the Round Lake station. To Metra’s credit, the train never doesn’t come. In most other ways, though, The experience falls short. Every time I purchase a monthly pass or a ticket from... Read more »

My Chicago Experience

Chicago is my home town. It’s where I was born, and where I grew up. There’s a lot of great stuff in Chicago, and I’ll always be attached to the city. But I’m going to just be real for a few hundred words. My Chicago experience isn’t all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. There’s a reason... Read more »

Blogapalooz-Hour: Writing, you are the love of my life

  Dear Writing, We’ve been together so, so long now. Sometimes I try to imagine life without you, but it’s beyond me. I try my damnedest to remember the times before we met, before keyboards and word processors, laser printers, dot matrix printers. Before IBM Selectric typewriters, before pen and notebook, or even pencil and... Read more »

What about cars, anyway?

2014 is five months old, and the odometer in my car has turned about nine thousand times. I spend a lot of time in that car, coming from, going to, flirting with the illusion of arriving now and again. Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, over and over and over once more, followed by an inevitable return... Read more »

The Valentine Chronicles

It all started thirty-five years ago, the day after Valentine’s. Just as dawn rose, he stirred inside the womb. They’d all said he’d come in mid-to-late March, but he wasn’t playing by that book. He had his own designs. In a stunning turn of impatience, he wanted out now. I’m not even born yet, he ruminated, and already... Read more »

Illinois Gray

February is typically the most exhausting month in Illinois. Sure, it’s the shortest, but that’s just because if it was any longer, the suicide rate by the time March rolled around would be off the charts. From September through February, even into March, Illinois is a lot like living inside a black and white photograph.... Read more »

Balance in Peaks and Valleys

Balance is important, she reminded herself. Balance is how to stay on your blades at the end of a triple salchow. Balance is what keeps your blades on the ice. She focused on the benefits of equilibrium as she picked up speed, entered a turn, and leapt off the back inside edge of her left... Read more »

And now for something completely different

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Here’s your chance to get a taste for how a Chicago stand up showcase feels. Think of this as a video-format-photo-essay about how much fun can be had in the dank back room of a bar when it’s six degrees below zero. Also, check out Make Yourself At Home at the Hidden Shamrock on North... Read more »

The worst joke ever written, and I wrote it

A significant portion of my time is spent writing jokes; jotting down little notes, wordsmithing premises into bits, weaving jokes out of my brain’s effluence. Sometimes, though, a joke will pop fully-formed into my brain. Most of the time, those are the irritating ones that I can’t get rid of, and haunt me forever until... Read more »

Net Neutrality is a dish best served cold

Apparently, Net Neutrality is over. There’s a lot of speculation about how this is all going to play out. I’m holding my breath, hoping that the ultimate difference will be minimal. I have my doubts. What I see is a future straight out of the worst science fiction. Something like Johnny Mnemonic with a little... Read more »