An Open Letter To Metra

Hi there, For slightly more than a decade now, I’ve been a regular user of the Milwaukee District North Line, traveling out of the Round Lake station. To Metra’s credit, the train never doesn’t come. In most other ways, though, The experience falls short. Every time I purchase a monthly pass or a ticket from... Read more »

My Chicago Experience

Chicago is my home town. It’s where I was born, and where I grew up. There’s a lot of great stuff in Chicago, and I’ll always be attached to the city. But I’m going to just be real for a few hundred words. My Chicago experience isn’t all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. There’s a reason... Read more »

Blogapalooz-Hour: Writing, you are the love of my life

  Dear Writing, We’ve been together so, so long now. Sometimes I try to imagine life without you, but it’s beyond me. I try my damnedest to remember the times before we met, before keyboards and word processors, laser printers, dot matrix printers. Before IBM Selectric typewriters, before pen and notebook, or even pencil and... Read more »
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What about cars, anyway?

2014 is five months old, and the odometer in my car has turned about nine thousand times. I spend a lot of time in that car, coming from, going to, flirting with the illusion of arriving now and again. Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, over and over and over once more, followed by an inevitable return... Read more »

Fishing for Spring in Chicago

Spring has sprung in Chicago. You can tell, because there’s a fresh inch of snow on the ground and frozen in a crust over tree branches. Somewhere, my guess is Sauganash or perhaps Edison Park, Queen Elsa of Arendelle is bellowing out “Let it Go” in the tiny upstairs dormer window of a 1930′s era... Read more »

The Comedy Super Threat

Sometimes I wake up – not from sleep, but from the cruise control that always sets in when things feel like I’m on an even keel. Comedy and writing work ebbs and flows, but I get into a program of hunting it down, and listening for opportunities, and routines usually win out in the war... Read more »
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How do you avoid bachelor injuries?

Our subject, Dan. Dan is an average American Bachelor. Dan also suffers from a terminal case of bad decision making abilities. Let's see what sort of injuries Dan has achieved this week.
The life of a bachelor is semi-dangerous. It’s a lifestyle that exposes one to all sorts of strange injuries improbable for anyone else. Let’s take a peek at our subject, Dan:  

Driving Myself Insane with Comedy

I’ve driven about 4200 miles since December. Some of that is book-related, but most of it is comedy. Madison to Milwaukee to seven different towns in Michigan to Indianapolis to points mysterious and bleak throughout the Great Lakes and Midwest regions. Every single time, on the drive home – which typically falls between the hours... Read more »

Playing Possum

Pretending to be asleep was his favorite defense mechanism. In bed, in chairs, on sofas, occasionally standing up; it saved him from participating in all sorts of uncomfortable circumstances. He’d discovered playing possum as a child, watching his uncle employ the maneuver at almost all family functions. Uncle Ted didn’t care much for people or... Read more »
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The Valentine Chronicles

It all started thirty-five years ago, the day after Valentine’s. Just as dawn rose, he stirred inside the womb. They’d all said he’d come in mid-to-late March, but he wasn’t playing by that book. He had his own designs. In a stunning turn of impatience, he wanted out now. I’m not even born yet, he ruminated, and already... Read more »