Posts tagged "botox"

Mom's Halloween Costume: Is it Time to Retire the Fishnets?

Mom's Halloween Costume: Is it Time to Retire the Fishnets?
I am a 35 year old mother of 3 children, and I need a Halloween costume. As much as I would love to wear those tiny shrink-wrapped costumes made from less fabric than my swimsuit, I won’t. The days of slutty nurse, slutty vampire whore, slutty cheerleader and, yes, even slutty pumpkin have passed me... Read more »

Bangs Are Cheaper Than Botox

Bangs Are Cheaper Than Botox
I’m being stalked by an old lady. She has been following me for years, lurking around corners. Her reflection often appears unexpectedly in store front windows. And sometimes when it is dark and I’m stumbling from my bed to use the bathroom, I see that crazy, old bitch staring at me from the bathroom mirror... Read more »