Posts tagged "Aging"

How to lie about your age: Christie Brinkley, this article is not for you

How to lie about your age: Christie Brinkley, this article is not for you
Tomorrow is my birthday. Today, I am 36. Tomorrow, I will proclaim to all that I am 41. No, not 31. 41. I am intentionally lying about my age and adding 4 years starting tomorrow. Why? My answer is simple really. Unless you look like Christie Brinkley at 60 on the cover of People Magazine, you... Read more »

Life Outside of the Baby Aisle: Living My Middle

by Brandi Lee, Parenting Without A Parachute Contributor Do you remember being pregnant? Did you sign up for the newsletter that would email you a weekly estimate of the size of your baby?  As the weeks went by, your baby would be a compared to a grape, a fig, an avocado, a spaghetti squash, a pineapple.... Read more »

Mom's Halloween Costume: Is it Time to Retire the Fishnets?

Mom's Halloween Costume: Is it Time to Retire the Fishnets?
I am a 35 year old mother of 3 children, and I need a Halloween costume. As much as I would love to wear those tiny shrink-wrapped costumes made from less fabric than my swimsuit, I won’t. The days of slutty nurse, slutty vampire whore, slutty cheerleader and, yes, even slutty pumpkin have passed me... Read more »
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Bangs Are Cheaper Than Botox

Bangs Are Cheaper Than Botox
I’m being stalked by an old lady. She has been following me for years, lurking around corners. Her reflection often appears unexpectedly in store front windows. And sometimes when it is dark and I’m stumbling from my bed to use the bathroom, I see that crazy, old bitch staring at me from the bathroom mirror... Read more »