Minivan = Mom Identity Crisis

Minivan = Mom Identity Crisis
coolest ever = hot mama

It all started a few weeks ago when we bought a crib for the new baby. We were so excited to find a great deal until we realized that the huge crib box would not fit into my husband’s mid-size sedan. Crap. Again we are calling good friends to help us deliver a large purchase, for the one-zillionth time.

On the ride home we realized that we might want to think about investing in a larger family vehicle. Our friend can’t tote around our soon-to-be two children family for us!

My husband immediately was online researching SUVs. Every chance he could get he was looking up cars and reporting back features like gas mileage, horse power, square footage, etc.

Then the unspeakable came out of his mouth: “Maybe we should get a minivan.”


It was very dangerous because he spoke these words to me while I was driving our family in my reliable, four-door Honda. I almost swerved us off the road when I heard what he said.

I instantly refused but he went on, “You get more for your money. They have more room and better gas mileage.”

I wanted him to stop. How could my husband who has always wanted an SUV turn on me?  We’ve always talked about SUVs, 4-wheel drive and road trips! I might have shed a tear.

But I knew he was right. It would be so nice to have that extra room. The passenger seat will not have to be pushed up to the dashboard to get the newborn carseat in the back. We would have more than enough room for strollers, pack n plays and anything else you need to carry around for kids.

I went through all the 5 stages of grief, mainly denial. I was in denial that my life was changing, again. I was denying that I was now a mom that needed a minivan. How did it come to this?

But what I am mostly concern about is my image. How would I look driving a minivan? What would people think? It’s bad enough that I don’t wear makeup on my days off and I sport the yoga pants. I don’t want to fit into more of the mom stereotype. I still want to be young, hip and unique. It’s hard to be that way now especially driving a minivan.

Of course, this will boost my husband’s image. It’s so attractive when guys drive family cars, wear wedding rings and carry diaper bags.  It’s not so hot when an unmake-upped mom in yoga pants pops out carrying a Thirty-One diaper bag covered in spit up. Or is it?

I need to stop myself. I need not to be so consumed with my image. My life is changing and will continue to change as my kids grow. I need to accept that. If we decide to make the big purchase of buying a minivan, I need to remind myself that I will rock that minivan and make it as awesome as I am.  I will break the mom stereotype and continue to be the mom that I am. Maybe I can mold the new mom stereotype....

Have you considered a “family vehicle?”

What do you feel will hurt your self image??


Shari is a 30-something mom of a darling toddler boy expecting #2 this summer. She is print designer and co-founder of a gift card and novelty company. Check out her hilarious designs at

Leave a comment