An excerpt from the journal of Elizabeth Rago...
Friday, May 25th, 2012
I felt my upper arm flab wagging in the windy Chicago breeze today as I waved at my 5-year-old son. Instantly clutching my jiggling skin, I shamefully tucked my untoned tricep under my armpit and exchanged my exuberant gesture for a more graceful finger flutter.
Earlier in the week, my daughter drove a car over my muffin top as I fed 4-month-old Gertrude and innocently asked if we were having another baby. I quickly (and defensively) explained to 3-year-old Anne that it had only been 4 months since I gave birth.
Anne stared at me and asked for a cookie, to which I granted her request and then, lickety-split, ate 10 cookies myself to get back at her.
I was obsessed about losing every ounce of weight I put on during my first two pregnancies and rallied to recondition my way into the best shape possible.
I lost all of the weight I gained (145 pounds total) and then some!
But this time around, even though I gained a mere 50 pounds, I have yet to start working out.
- I’m sleep deprived.
- I’m busy with 3 kids.
- I might not fit into all my skinny clothes, but I think I look pretty good considering I gave birth a few months ago...
I know it is silly to put pressure on myself to lose weight quickly and feel like I went into survival mode after baby Gertrude was born, ignoring all suggestions to take care of myself. After all, I have three kids to care for!
The spinal headache after Gertrude's delivery threw me for a loop and unlike my other two children who slept through the night at 6 weeks, my third glorious babe is up and ready to party several times a night.
So, working out is pretty far down on my priority list.
As I roll my once perky breasts up off the floor and stuff them into my underwire bra, I cannot help but sigh and wrinkle my nose at the fact that my stretch marked saturated stomach will never again see the light of day.
I need to suck it up and get motivated to shed this lingering maternity weight one last time.
I need the squats, the weights, and Billy Blanks’ Boot Camp to transform my tummy, toosh and thighs into a healthy me again.
"Goodbye", Nutella generously spread on Trader Joe’s Toasted Coconut Cookie Thins and dipped in vanilla ice cream!
"Sayanora", 1/2 slab of ribs from Portillo’s with french fries, cole slaw and a bread stick and a chocolate shake (and maybe a tamale?)!
"Au Revior", Ghirardelli Chocolate Supreme Brownie dipped in chocolate syrup!
I bid you adieu, fat-infused goodness. From the bottom of my cellulite riddled haunches, I raise a glass of Malbec tonight, clutched in my sausage fingers (which still cannot wear my wedding band) and in a sweaty hormonal mess, I say, "Dasvedania".
I know in 6 months I will be smiling at a new me.
The energized and healthy me I knew just a year ago...
Sweet Moses, I’m hungry.