I completely admit this headline is gross, but our blog is all about the reality of life. And sometimes, there are stains on life and on your mattress.
I like to take showers at night and when you go to bed with wet hair, it is possible to get a yellowish ring on your pillow. I know, gross. After looking at these pillows for months, I had horrified myself to the point of disgust. Last week I decided to purge these pillows, invest in pillow covers and fresh new pillows.
In an effort to save money, I tried to wash my pillows resulting in a giant soaked stained blob. Wringing the water out was useless. I placed the soaking wet pilliow in the garbage can, which quickly froze in my garage.
Last Friday, I pulled into my driveway and I noticed my husband had put out the weekly trash. Perched on top of the trash can were my two frozen and stained pillows. A hot flash ran down my spine as I leapt from an almost moving vehicle to retrieve my hideous pillows.
I stopped, mid stride, and thought, "You know what. I am going to leave those pillows there. I am taking a stand against being embarrassed about the stains in my life."
Where did the stains start you ask? Let's reminisce to a stain-free life I once knew...
married and gainfully employed, my clothes were always crisp, clean and
back from the dry cleaner. You see, I did not own Spray and Wash. And
why would I? No one was flinging food at me or rubbing their runny nose
on my pants.
Stains first entered my life with the adoption of a
puppy. We called him Hank and loved him as our own furry, little baby.
In the midst of potty training, Hank woke up one early morning and
graced us with a shower.
Fast forward 4 years. Little Raymond is
born, and lay naked on my king-sized bed. Kicking his wrinkled feet,
this sweet angel catches a cool breeze and propels an impressive
fountain of pee pee, soiling the mattress once more. My husband bolts
for a towel and tries to soak up the newly doused mattress. Stain
number two had marked our bed like a branding iron on a new steer.
I know you are grossed out, but secretly, some of you out there have stains on your mattress, too. I know you do!
continue. As disgusted as I was with the stains on my mattress, I
quickly got over them because I was convinced no one would ever see my
dirty little secret.
That same year, we relocated and moved to
Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I sat in my new home gazing at the neighbors who
were gathered outside their homes, chit chatting amongst themselves. I
sighed and watched the men moving my personal belongings into my home.
And then I saw it.
My pee stained mattress leaving the truck. Two giant yellow stains screaming out into the bright sun of that May morning, "HELLO NEW NEIGHBORS! LOOK AT ME! I AM A PEE STAINED MATTRESS!"
screamed out in horror and couldn't help but run from the window and
hide in the bathroom. I vowed that day, no one would ever see this
But mattresses are expensive! A new king size was
not in the budget. To block out my own embarrassment, I did what any
normal person would do. I flipped the mattress over and denied the
stains ever existed.
Enter relocation #2. Realizing I would have
to face the stain beast, I spoke specifically with the moving company
about covering the mattress, claiming that I wanted to "keep dust off of
it" from the time it left my house, until the time it reached my new
A tiny white lie, but how could I explain the stain situation?
moving specialist assured me that the mattress would be covered with
something. Move-in day arrived and I stood at my new living room window
nervously watching the truck. My husband joined me and lovingly put his
arms around me as we stared in silence at our new neighborhood.
He broke the silence with this simple question.
"You're worried about the mattress, aren't you?"
he knew me too well. And he was right. I was waiting for it to come
out of the truck and lo and behold it emerged from the back of the truck
and by god it had NO BOX AROUND IT. No covering. Nothing. My stained,
naked mattress greeted my new neighbors once more.
So when I saw
my gross pillows atop the garbage can last Friday, I realized,
sometimes life is stained. I can't be perfect and I have the stains on
my mattress to prove it.
So I take a stand. I know you people
are out there. Bearing stains on your mattresses! Speak up! Let me
know I am not alone! For goodness sake, let me know I am not