I know first hand how its a challenge to have someone in your life that is a clutterer. I seem to attract cluttered men, have relatives that have very full homes ect... For the organized person this can be a nightmare. Trying to function in a space that is not functional.
In accordance with human nature, we want to release our feelings. We want to yell, scream, and get our feelings out in the open. Wrong move!!
The clutterer, hoarder, or whatever phrase you want to use, is already feeling bad. They are ashamed, overwhelmed, and most of them don't want to live the way they do.
Bite you tongue! Give them your support. Offer to bring in a professional or go to therapy with them. Try to help them clear out some of the space.
I have seen first hand what happens when a spouse or family member berates the clutterer. I have seen projects end upbruptly, trash brought back in the house and thrown on the floor, and systems destroyed.
I have spent quite a bit of time pulling family members aside and schooling them in a gently manner. If you can't handle the process or participate in a positive manner, then you need to remove yourself from the situation.
* Provide them with support..therapy or an organizer
* Provide them with the proper supplies to do a purge
* Praise them for everything they accomplish
* Understand if they backslide a little
I had a boyfriend 8 years ago that fit well into this category. When we first started dating I remember looking up and saying "God, are you laughing right now!!" The place was not only hoarded but dirty. Unfortunately we spent more time at his place (bigger tv and dog to take care of ) then mine. Over a period of several months, I helped him transform his place into a functional environment. We purged and purged. I even drove several car loads to salvation army for him. With his belongings scaled down, he was able to have a cleaning lady come in to keep it clean!
As they say in the south "You catch more flies with honey!"