GOP device failure notice: system erroneous and archaic

The Republicans are already saddling up for 2016. These people waste no time. Wisconsin's Scott Walker has said that “the next GOP leader must do a better job explaining why the party's policies will help ordinary Americans.” (Associated Press) Chris Christie (Gov., NJ) is rallying his troops and following OMERTA with staunch resolve by dodging media at every turn. (Projection: He will use his actions in the wake of Sandy as a platform.) Bob McDonnell (VA) has said that the party must solve the partisan gridlock in Washington but has suggested little as to how the Republicans can achieve such balance.

Bobby Jindal (LA) finds his colleagues cracked for even considering the 2016 race this early in the game. And in true Republican fashion, he’s absolutely hypocritical and full of pungent horseshit. From one side of his mouth comes this, and from the other, an ice-pick jab at the Romney campaign and suggestions as to how to better run a campaign for 2016.

Even Newt Gingrich is calling for a revamp. Being that he has over time been one of the biggest contributors to the Republican habit of catering to J.P. Fatback this should turn out to be interesting. Will Ol’ Snoot use this retooling bid as a campaign platform for 2016? Maybe. I hope so as such a move is likely to end with the Grinch falling flat on his face and causing me to erupt with gales of jocular laughter.

The GOP wants to know what the hell happened. They’re banding together right now in a think-tank trying to figure out what went wrong. The idea of anyone needing a group of scholars to get hopped up on speed and coffee and yak for weeks in order to figure out what’s wrong with the GOP is easily as amusing as the nation’s top spy getting caught cheating on his wife. It is obvious. The Republicans are a party of cash hogs who believe white is right and the tie makes the man.

Part of the GOP’s new strategy will be to use the latest technology to upgrade voting methods. I mentioned that as a good idea before, suggesting an eVote to replace the need for the Electoral College. It seems that not all of the GOP is ignorant and closed-minded after all. One way for them to gain an immense amount of popularity with great speed would be use technology as the way to dispose of the despised Electoral College, which eVoting would do. Perhaps this will occur to them in their talks.

They want to reach out to other races. That isn’t going to be easy, not with their history of giving less than a single fuck about anyone who isn’t white. Further, they’re bidding for an attempt to reach the working man, and this isn’t going to be easy with their history of giving not one single fuck about anyone who isn’t wearing a suit. The same goes for women and their unfortunate (to Republicans) lack of a penis.

Why don’t we just replace the bastards with something better that is not the Tea-Party? That was a piss-poor answer from the beginning.

The GOP has yanked Romney off the main stage with the Cane, folded him up, and put him back in his little box. It must feel horrible, being deflated and placed back in storage. Poor bastard.

It will be engaging to see which red-tie will join the 2016 race against Hilary Clinton.

If the Republicans are genuine, they can prove veracity by relenting from their hard line tug-of-war with the Democrats over what to do about the Bush-era Stuffed Suit Tax Cuts and the coming spending cuts in certain important programs before we all get screwed. The Blue-Collar working Joe of America will be neither impressed nor pleased if the Republicans continue to protect their buddies, nay, their bosses (your boss is, after all, the one who pays you) from losing the tax loopholes that allow wealthy Americans to pay percentages as low and lower than 14% instead of the lawful 35% tax rate they are supposed to pay.

Another possible avenue leading to popularity is to stop making the average American feel like it is not worth the effort to roll their heavy stone up their steep eighty-five year life hill. The Warbuckers wish to see the institution of Chained Consumer Price Index instated, whose name alone is ominous to liberals. Chained CPI would, over time, severely cut Medicare benefits exponentially as the years pass. Tom Harkin (D., Iowa) described the proposed chains with this analogy: “they want you to swim, but they're going to put a log chain around your ankle.” Chained CPI is a helping hand to the argument that Republicans in the main view senior citizens like street litter. The red-ties make the prospect of aging a tante-clenching fear. Don’t get old. Once your stone reaches the top of the hill, it’s going to roll back on you and flatten you like a human tube of toothpaste.

Work hard your whole life, get sick and fucking die, right? We’re not going to help you and we don’t give a shit if you worked hard so we could make money off of your sweat. This primarily Republican attitude has got to go if the GOP wants to stand a chance gaining popularity, especially with Latinos, who are very family-oriented and view their elderly with respect and adoration.

It bears mention that Obama has not grown the economy by any real margin and that under Republican pressure he and his people in 2010 moved to increase Medicare premiums and also the age of eligibility. One can argue that this was all Obama’s fault but one can just as easily argue that the Republicans tied his hands. Perhaps later, we will. But right now such debate is off-topic.

Reps: You aren’t going to easily blame-shift your way out of this one. And J.P. Fatback can’t buy you out of this one, sirs. You’re going to have to do a little work this time. Hate 80% more game, 20% less playa. Buena Suerte.

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  • Can you say "sore winner". Give it a rest.

    Your hate is hanging out your blog window.

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    In reply to Richard Davis:

    Oh, I won nothing. I guess you weren't paying attention. I liked Gary Johnson. However, I've despised the republican party for as long as I can remember, not just because of THIS insignificant election. It's fun to crack on them. But, yeah...I'd like to see them replaced by a group that may actually be interested in something other that its collective pocketbook, and I thought I'd say so. I guess it's wrong to poke where it hurts. Apologies, Angry Romneyman.

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