The response I'd like to hear from one of the accused: I'm a sexual harasser and here's why I did it

The response I'd like to hear from one of the accused: I'm a sexual harasser and here's why I did it

With each passing day since the Harvey Weinstein story exploded, another powerful man is knocked off his lofty perch or could be in danger of soon doing so.

Charlie Rose. Matt Lauer. Garrison Keilor. Senator Al Franken. Congressman John Conyers. Louie C.K. Kevin Spacey. Roy Moore. James Tobach. Mark Halperin. Roy Price. Michael Oreskes. Russell Simmons. Geraldo Rivera.

Just this morning: longtime conductor of the Metropolitan Opera, James Levine.

I'm appalled, disappointed, bewildered, horrified, and, frankly, creeped-out--not just at the number of heavy-hitters who've been called out for their actions, but with 200,000 metoo#s  following Alyssa Milano's now famous tweet, there must be an ungodly number of unrecognizable men in positions of authority who've abused it.

I'm also confused. Should rapists and pedophiles be thrown in the same boat (the Titantic) as, say, gropers and dirty talkers? And while I admire the brave women who've come forward, I'm not completely comfortable with using the media to execute each and every one of these men.

Some of the accused have come forward, trite in their contriteness. Their responses sounding strangely similar. (Did they all hire the same lawyer? A Gloria Allred for the accused?)

"I'm sorry." "I'm ashamed." "I'm embarrassed."

I've seen Facebook comments which point fingers at the victims. Why didn't these women speak up? Why didn't they come forward sooner? Most of my people (females) know why. They were afraid no one would listen or care, or worse, be blamed and lose their jobs.

But the victims aren't the ones who should be held unaccountable. It's the victimizers. That's why what I'd really like to see is at least one of them to level with us, come clean in a AA sort of way, and say:

"I'm a sexual harrasser (or abuser) and here's why I did it."

Of course, I know this will never happen. But, really, I want to know.

Why did you do it?

Because you were powerful and you could get away with it? Because it was fun? Because it was a turn-on to demean women? Because, well, you could?

Did you do it because you're a selfish a-hole and satisfying your sexual needs comes before anything else?  Did you not give a crap about the people you harassed or abused? Or how about how your wife or girlfriend? I imagine you're paying the piper now.

Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K.: Did you actually think your colleagues were interested in seeing your junk?

Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe you male harassers and abusers are totally different creatures from those of us who don't have the same equipment. Are you preprogrammed by your DNA/nature with an intense, unrelenting need to procreate--like animals? 

You do think maybe Mike Pence had it right all along: Never have dinner alone with a woman other than your wife?

Crazy questions, I know. But these are crazy times. And we need answers. Maybe then we can figure out how the hell to stop it.

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  • Take responsibility for one's own actions? What a novel idea

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    Speaking of novel, I put the blame squarely on Bodice-Ripping-Novels for this cavalier attitude between the sexes.

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    As a follow-up thought, I think the book "Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus" implicitly gave men permission to act out their primitive desires. Before that turning point, I believe men had learned well defined boundaries of behavior.

  • In reply to Bruce Oltman:

    Thanks for your interesting comments, Bruce...But are you saying men know how to read!? :)

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    This entire thing caught me by surprise and you ask a great question..who things a woman wants to view our junk? I can see a straight on hit.."how about grabbing a drink after work?"..but this other stuff is just plain creepy..is the institutional objectification of women responsible? I know that if you look up a cast member of something you've watched the pictures that come with it are much different between men and women.

  • This is a good point, Judy. However, I wonder how many of the accused actually know why they did what they did -- if they did. (Sometimes I feel a "words worth defending" post coming on about "the presumption of innocence.") On the other hand, for those who confess, you've posed a great question.

  • In reply to Margaret H. Laing:

    Yes, Margaret, "the presumption of innocence" bothers me too. But in some of these cases in which the men have lost their jobs there were multiple accusers. I think part of the problem is that sexual harassment has been going on for far too long. Thanks for reading!

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    IS IT SEXUAL HARASSMENT?
    • If You’re a T & A professional Miss America contestant?
    • When the most popular contemporary entertainment brand The Kardashians are famous releasing a DVD of a Rap Star’s anal intercourse?
    • If you spend time making yourself an attractive female and a horny-boy hits on you?
    • If you don’t slap the prick when he does it?
    • You’re a gorgeous actress, and you willingly go to a movie producer’s hotel room at ten pm?
    • If it’s locker room talk that’s caught on tape?
    • If you hit on a waitress and she accepts a ride home?

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