Archive for September 2013

Cloudy with a chance of meatheads

I got stuck in a brainstorm a couple weeks ago. And like a regular storm, this one left nothing but destruction and rubble in its path. The older I get the more I’ve grown to hate brainstorms. After my near heart attack, I realized my time on this planet is precious and finite and brainstorms... Read more »

A Lesson in Life From the Men's Room

A guy named Alan taught me a lesson in life the other night. We were in the men’s room at the time. And before you get any weird ideas, Alan was the Men’s Room Attendant. I didn’t think they had Men’s Room Attendants anymore. But this was one of those high-end Chicago steakhouses— $60 cuts... Read more »

Hair Today

So long, hair. It’s been nice knowing you. It was fun hanging out together all these years. We had a good run, you and me. But I’ve noticed you’ve begun pulling away lately, receding. Oh, I can tell. The signs are all there. One look in the mirror (or the sink or my hairbrush) and it... Read more »
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Facebook envy

My childhood best friend had a lovely weekend in Northern Italy just the other day, flying seaplanes on Lake Como and having lunch in Arturo and Enrica’s castle… I know this because he posted his exploits on Facebook. My typical weekend involves laundry, maybe a nap, and a trip to Trader Joe’s. So, yeah, I’ve... Read more »

Heart Disease is not just for old guys anymore

Atherosclerosis or heart disease is not just for old guys anymore! Okay, sure, a 50-year-old man in the U.S. has a 1-in-2 risk of developing heart disease during the remaining years of his life. It’s official; the boys at Harvard Medical School did a study. Made me feel all warm inside when I discovered that little... Read more »