Posts in category "Mom of the Year"

Anthropologie furniture ads recreated with the crap in my condo

Anthropologie furniture ads recreated with the crap in my condo
Let’s be clear: I am unapologetically riffin’ off of a Tumblr called Let’s Make Fun of: Anthropologie furniture. In my mind, it’s no coincidence that all of the pieces Liz Galveo featured are sold out: that piece ruled like a boss. I felt a call to action when I read this piece. But what to do?... Read more »

"There are lots of ways that things can work themselves out, Mom. You just can’t see them all."

"There are lots of ways that things can work themselves out, Mom. You just can’t see them all."
True story: About a year and a half ago, a longtime friend and I had a falling out. There were no fingers to point, no blame to pin in this particular schism. Things simply went off track, and we went our separate ways. But the person hurt most by this “breakup” was my son. My... Read more »

Old Single Mom responds to her new fans at Fox News!

Old Single Mom responds to her new fans at Fox News!
Hey, guys! So things got pretty exciting, yesterday, once I noticed that John Stossel had used a picture of me to promote the re-airing of his show that I was on a few months ago: “Parenting Wars.” Click here to go to the link of yesterday’s post! Can I just say: boy howdy, and hello!... Read more »
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Dear Son: That whole Santa thing? I lied.

Dear Son: That whole Santa thing? I lied.
Dear Son: I could see the doubt in your eyes from the beginning, when I told you the tale of a big fat man dressed in red, who, one night a year, circles the entire globe in a sleigh pulled by **ahem** flying reindeer. No chimney? No problem! Because magic; the same magic that makes... Read more »

I'll admit it: sometimes being single sucks

I'll admit it: sometimes being single sucks
Okay, yeah. I’ll admit it. Sometimes being single sucks. Over the weekend, I fell down. Now, falling, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In my experience, you can accomplish a lot between the misstep and the ground: epiphanies. Brainstorms. Huge life decisions are sometimes revealed on impact. #fallingcanbefun But this weekend, when... Read more »

My house is a f*****g mess. (Oh well...)

My house is a f*****g mess. (Oh well...)
Every four months or so, I post the same status update on my Facebook page: God forbid, if anything happens to me today, please tell my family that the reason my place looks like Dorothy’s cyclone touched down is not that I have relapsed. My house is a mess because I’m just too damn busy to... Read more »
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Pajama Jeans? I have been wearing those since the day I discovered booze

Pajama Jeans? I have been wearing those since the day I discovered booze
(Disclaimer: the Pajama Jean company in no way knows, endorses or gives a flip that I wrote this.) Pajama Jeans are real things. Their motto?  Pajamas you live in. Jeans you sleep in. But let it be known here and now that I invented the concept of Pajama Jeans a long, long, long time ago. I... Read more »

The Mystery of the Secret First Grade Backpack Love Letter

The Mystery of the Secret First Grade Backpack Love Letter
My son is six years old. “G” has beautiful green eyes, and is a kind, smart boy. He has never been an overly affectionate child, and he REALLY hates being kissed. (We have an agreement: If I give him a kiss, he gets to lick my hand. It’s a completely fair trade.) And while he... Read more »

Rocktober Day 2: "Mommy, Angry Bird Darth Vader's face is in my Power Bar!"

Rocktober Day 2: "Mommy, Angry Bird Darth Vader's face is in my Power Bar!"
G: Mommy, Angry Bird Darth Vader’s face is in my Power Bar! Me: Let me see, honey. HO-LY. Well I’ll be… You’re right. No-no. Don’t eat it! Let me take a picture of it. I take several pictures of it, all the while thinking the pathetic thoughts of a woman desperate for financial independence. Me:... Read more »
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What does the Fox News say?

What does the Fox News say?
So Fox News contacted me. What the Fox? *** After I hung up with the producer, the first person I called was my Republican, Florida Panhandle-living, retired Air Force Lt Col Dad. Ring! Dad: Hello? Me: Hi, Dad! Want to hear something that will blow your mind? Dad: no. Me:……. Me:……. Me: Really? Dad: Yeah,... Read more »