In The Middle

In all reality I’m middle aged. Now I know, at 31, that sounds crazy. But it’s true. I am in the middle. I’m not old, but I’m not young. I’m in the middle. Want to know a secret? The middle kinda fucking sucks. The middle is the hard part. The monotonous part. The part where... Read more »

Why?

Sometimes it doesn’t matter who you’ve lashed out at. And it doesn’t matter who’s lashed out at you. If I had a dollar for every time someone’s lost their temper with me, I’d be a millionaire. A billionaire, if I counted all the times I’ve lost MY temper with someone. But it doesn’t matter anymore.... Read more »

And It All Really Sucks

I’m going to be very honest, because that’s what we do here. I’m so unhappy at my job. Every morning I wake up knowing how grateful I should be. Knowing that I’m luckier than many because I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back and a car that I can drive... Read more »
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The Beds You Lay In

You laid down and sobbed after he told you no. After the proverbial punch to the stomach. People told you to be proud. That you followed your heart and now you know. But then your heart broke and all you felt was crushed. Defeated. Broken in a way that seems non fixable. You felt damaged.... Read more »

I Used To Be Really Good At A Lot of Things

*Blogapalooz Hour. Topic given at 9, we have to post by 10. Woof.* I’m not really good at many things. I’m pretty okay at a lot of stuff. I’m a pretty okay writer. I’m a pretty okay/fairly good friend and sister. I try to be a good leader and an overall okay person. I can... Read more »

All I Did Was Blink

All I Did Was Blink
All I did was blink. I blinked and you had a job, visited colleges, turned 18, and snagged a spot on prom court. I blinked and you grew up. I blinked and you became…you. Now I know I’ve already said a lot to you, perhaps it was¬†unsolicited advice,¬†but as your older sister, I can, and... Read more »
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What He Said, What I Heard

What he said: “Have more confidence, babe.” What I heard: “He hates me because I’m insecure and needy.” What he said: “You’re beautiful.” What I heard: “Buttt….my stomach should be flatter and my boobs perkier and my ass firmer, right?” This is what it’s like inside the brain of a girl with anxiety and codependency... Read more »

And I Love you For It

I am shattered by the brokenness of our country right now. Devastated. Disgusted. Broken. In disbelief. And I don’t know. I just don’t know. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t know if I even have a right to feel this way. My heart breaks... Read more »

Boundaries, Not Barriers

“Just wanted to say hi.” Those four words were all it took for me to unravel last week. I don’t know why I felt the need to click on that “other” tab on Facebook that day, but I did. And there was one message. From him. The one who started it all. The one I... Read more »
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Facing Myself: Choosing Strong Over Tough

Yesterday was a bad day. Not for any individual reason, just overall yuck. Maybe it was the bullshit hormones from stupid PMS. Maybe it was because I haven’t had a job for almost a month, and I don’t do well with idle time. Maybe it was because I miss my friends more than anything and... Read more »