The Worst Smoothie Ever

The Worst Smoothie Ever
The Worst Smoothie Ever

I love to make smoothies and juices. Fruits and vegetables are my friends. I make drinks with spinach and kale and even make Mean Green juice and this fantastic beet juice.

Today, I decided to try something new. I shall call it, The Worst Smoothie Ever.

I have two words for you. Dandelion greens. If somebody tells you to try them, they're probably trying to destroy your life. Or at the very least, have a good laugh at your expense.

You might be wondering two things. 1. Are dandelion greens what I think they are? 2. What would possess a person to eat them?

I'll go ahead and answer those questions for you:

1. They're what you think they are. You know the green leaves that surround the dandelions on your lawn? The ones you try to get rid of and wouldn't be caught dead picking and eating? The things that you don't want in your garden? Yeah, those are the ones.

2. I bought a new super blender thing and I've been wanting to try some new green smoothies. I read that dandelion greens are one of the most awesomely healthy things you can eat. I saw some at the grocery store this morning and thought, why not?

I didn't know how to prepare the dandelion greens so I found some recipes online. Recipes that people claimed to love.

"Remember to add a banana, to eliminate any bitterness," they said. "You'll love this delicious powerhouse smoothie," they said.

Don't even think about it

Don't even think about it

They were wrong.

Many of the recipes were the same or similar to the one I used. A bunch (about a cup) of dandelion greens, one apple and half a banana. I added some water and blended away.

I took my first drink and thought that I had accidentally swallowed fertilizer. Not that I've ever eaten fertilizer before, but I'm going to guess that's what it tastes like.

I might add that I feel bad about wasting food so I gave it a second swig. Even a third and fourth.

I was committed, but it was horrible. I actually started laughing out loud at how ridiculously nasty my thick garden weed concoction was.

Even a rabbit hopped by and was all, "Pssh, forget that, I'm going to eat the stuff out of your garden."

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to brush my teeth. Again.


For more fun and adventures from The New Abides, please follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

To subscribe to The New Abides, type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: smoothies

Leave a comment