I have been "quiet" for a long time, too long. I can list numerous reasons why, such as a new practice I joined, my father-in-law passed away, taking care of family health needs, blah, blah, blah. While these are substantial reasons why, they are also excuses for not writing.
Over the last year when I did have a quick minute, I would sit down to write but I could not pen my thoughts. It was not writers block, it was a fear of writing. You are probably asking yourself, "What the heck is fear of writing"? Writer's block is when a writer does not have anything to say or know how to put it on paper. I have many things to say and I know how to move forward, my issue has been that when I sit down to write, my heart would race and I would have a feeling of anxiety. I never felt anxious before about writing. I tried writing many times but I could not follow through, fear won. I did not understand why I was afraid until today.
I used to set specific times to write, me time. I would sit down and write whatever thoughts would enter into my mind. It could be about anything--health, what's in the news, recipes, things that I find funny, etc. I had my set time and I got it done leaving me feel accomplished and satisfied. So what changed over this year-- my priorities.
If I ask 10 people to name their top 10 priorities I am sure that some priorities will be the same as the others. I am also fairly confident that only a few, if any, of those 10 people will not list themselves as a priority. Why is it that we all put our family, job, friends, and everything else ahead of our own needs. Are we any less important? Yes, there are many priorities that we want to accomplish such as making sure our young children are taken care of or keeping the relationship with our partner sound, however. there is a difference between doing something because we want to and doing something because we feel obligated. The truth is tasks are tasks and if we continue to put other people's needs ahead of our own, we will not have the energy to do the things we actually want to do with our family, friends, jobs, etc. It's the things we want to do that helps recharge us and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
I struggle with making myself a priority but I am working on it. I used to say yes to everyone (unless there was a chance of being arrested) whether I did or did not want to do what was asked of me because I did not want to disappoint anyone, even knowing it would exhaust me for a few days. This lack of energy would affect my work, stress level, made me more irritable which affected my relationships. I also lacked the motivation to set up time to blog, something which I love to do.
I now frequently remind myself that I am just as important as anyone else. Making myself a priority helps me be the best I can be for those that that I prioritize and those that count on me. Most importantly, I prioritize myself because I am worth it. Look at your priorities, are you one of them? If not, you need to change your thinking because only you can make that happen.
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