Both of my sons' birthdays are quickly approaching--one will 25, the other 27. I was thinking about that one night when I could not sleep. I was amazed by how time was moving so slowly that night yet how fast the years seemed to pass from my kids' birth to the grown adults they are today. That night it occurred to me, I needed to write a letter to my sons on their birthday.
Being a parent is the hardest job one will ever have. I remember how excited I was with both of my pregnancies--I was also petrified. I was excited thinking about what each of my children would be like. Would they have red hair like me or brown like Dad? Will they have a quiet disposition or make their presence known? Will they be cursed, like their parents, by loving the Chicago Cubs no matter what? I was also terrified worrying that I would make a mistake and ruin their lives forever. So many times I wished for a crystal ball to help guide me in my parenting but those are only found in fairy tales. What I do know for certain is that we did our best in teaching and providing our children with the necessary tools so that they could be all that they wanted to be.
My husband and I are blessed with two very different and happy grown children. Did I make mistakes, yes. Do I regret things I have said and done, absolutely--I am far from perfect. My children know, however, that they are loved because I tell them every time we talk. They know I will be there in a second if they need me, no matter what. They also know I will worry about them until the day I die because that's what mothers do. I just want to say to them, "A bond was created when I was pregnant with you, I birthed you and took care of you until you could take care of yourself. Do you really think I could stop now just because you are an adult?"
I decided this year to write a letter to my sons on their birthday and I will continue to do it yearly. This letter will tell them how important they are to me, how much they are loved, and the things they do which make me so proud. I believe most parents, including myself, don't tell their adult children this as often as we did when they were young. It's not that we love our children any less or have nothing to be proud of them for, it is just that both their lives and ours become busy and we simply forget to. Are my kids perfect, no. Have they ever said or done something that hurt me, yes. This is where they take after both of their parents, they are not perfect either.
By writing this letter I hope to accomplish two things. First, I want them to know of all the things in that year I was proud of, how much I love them, and how they make a difference in my life. Second, even though I am not planning on leaving this world for many, many, many years, I want them to have this memento from me. These letters will remind them that I will always be there for them whenever they need me, even when I am gone. Whenever they want to feel my love and support, all they need to do is read my letters and they will know I am there. Maybe my sons will think I am way too sentimental when they get their first letter. The truth is that I don't care if they do think this idea is too silly because I know they will not only appreciate it, but will receive comfort from it one day. Who knows, maybe on one of my birthdays I will get a letter from my sons too.
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