Posts in category "Corporate America"

Want to work at my company? Talk to me BEFORE applying

For the 3rd time since I started my not-so-new job, a friend has reached out to me asking if I could help them get into the company.  (4th if you count a douchebag who is not a friend so much as a raging asshole with no soft skills whatsoever). I’m always willing to help a... Read more »

Job Hunting and the Purple Squirrel

<strong>You really need my middle name:</strong>  There's no law against having more or less than two given names, but apparently this software was written 20 years ago when many <a href="" target="_blank">computer programs were coded</a> to recognize three names and only three names.
In the not too distant past, I had a job interview.  Even before the Big Announcement — that TopFive was moving to a Managed Service Model — I was quietly looking for a new job because I knew I was on borrowed time.  In Corporate America, we use the terms Capacity and Demand.  For the... Read more »

Outsourcing to a Managed Service Model: The Word is Given

So the Discovery Deadline came and went and in typical fashion for TopFive, the Higher_Ups hadn’t made a decision yet.  It came as no surprise because something of this magnitude and natural couldn’t be figured out in six weeks.  And honestly, the six weeks was never about figuring out the logistics of transition and knowledge... Read more »

Is your company Outsourcing? Take the money and run

We got the news mid summer that TopFive was exploring moving to a Managed Services Model (MSM) and it was surprisingly, unsurprising.  By that I mean even obtuse moi had noticed the signs: Attrition Rate was usually high; Empty positions were not being replaced; I was on my 4th boss in a year; Older Partners... Read more »

How years of rejection in the Dating World prepared me for losing my job

So the cat can now be let out of the bag.  My company TopFive has discovered that it is an accounting firm, not an IT firm and as such, it is strongly considering moving to a Managed Services model (read: outsourcing) and my job will soon be gone. We are of course using the current... Read more »

What happens when your company moves to a Managed Services Model

We got the news at our annual All-Hands Dept Meeting that we had been expecting for some time now.   My company TopFive has discovered that it is an accounting firm, not an IT firm and as such, it has decided to explore Outsourcing the IT Dept.  We are of course using the current buzz... Read more »

Dear Chase Bank: Stop Spamming me

Every month, I get an email from my bank telling me that my statement is available online.  I also get one for my Chase Credit Card telling me that my balance and minimum due can be viewed online.  Finally, every time they tweak their site or terms of service, I get an email telling me... Read more »

How to survive Corporate America: Work Friends

Last May I wrote a post spewing advice to new graduates on How to survive Corporate America. I left some things out of it because the post was growing too long and was also bringing back painful memories of my early Corporate America experience. After some therapy and several good cries, I’ve decided to follow... Read more »

The No-Name Software Company: how I landed my first job in Information Technology

It was spring of 2000 and I was in my last quarter of G-School at DePaul. One evening after some database class ended and everyone was rushing toward the elevator, I lingered back. Night classes went until 9pm but they usually ended early and if you were lucky, they ended early enough to catch an... Read more »

STOP saying you are busy!

In Corporate America there is an animal called the IMSOBUSY. The IMSOBUSY is too busy to stop in the hallway and say hello or make friendly banter, but always has time to tell you how busy she is. What to grab some lunch? Lunch is for losers. How was your weekend? Cannot talk now, I... Read more »