Dear Mila Kunis: You didn't get pregnant alone and other things I think about a lot

When I was a kid, most of the television shows depicted giving birth in not even close to what really happens in the Delivery Room. We didn't see true contractions or water breaking or crowning. The only time a guy other than the doctor was present was in a Situation Comedy and they got stuck in an elevator and he had to deliver the baby. Apparently getting into an elevator with a pregnant woman in the 70s & 80s was a guarantee that she would go into labor and the elevator would get stuck between floors.

Today elevators are better because pregnant woman don't immediately go into labor when they get into them. What is also better? The whole we are in this together part of pregnancy. While there's still light years to go in terms of progress, society is more open to non-nuclear families and there is more of an expectation that the dad is involved in the pregnancy from start to finish (and beyond).

Even before my wife got pregnant, even before we were married, heck even before I met her or anyone else I might have considered marrying, it was drilled into my head by pregnant friends, society and the Political Correct Cartel that when you're wife is with child you use the phrase "we are pregnant."

Now Mila Kunis wants to undo all of that.

On Tuesday night, actress Mila Kunis dropped by Jimmy Kimmel Live, and had some choice words for fathers-to-be who use the phrase, “We’re expecting.”

“You’re not pregnant,” Kunis said launching into a staged bit while joined by a team of expectant mothers who all tucked into tubs of ice-cream as she ranted. “Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.” source

Look Mila and the rest of you: Make up your F-ing Minds! Either we are pregnant together or not. but you cannot kept changing it every decade. Men don't respond to change very well. That's why we have two versions of Major League Baseball. If you want us in the Delivery Room -- that scary place where there is no big screen TV or anyone serving beer -- then you gotta keep us involved. And the phrase "we are pregnant" drilled into our heads for 9 months just about ought to do it.

Recently, a group of UChicago LGBT radicals gave Dan Savage a hard time because he used the term "tranny" instead of "it". Savage is the frigging Moses of the gay and lesbian community and if anyone is striving to be sensitive to that group's preferred nomenclature it is likely Dan Savage. Yet he got accused committing an anti-trans hate crime at U of C and denounced as a transphobic bigot.

From the comment sections of that article I just linked to, I get the impression that the gay and lesbian et al community itself seems to be split whether they arr LGBT ot LGBTQ. I only mention this because even with the right intentions, it's not possible to know the correct name to call someone. the LGBT is better united and can decide what they want to be called and tell us. Pregnant couples don't really gather en mass or have parades to celebrate being pregnant. We are barely organized as a unit let alone a collective of other pregnant couples. And when we are registering at Bye Bye Baby for overpriced baby bottles, we don't really debate whether it should be "we are pregnant" or "my wife is pregnant."

This is one of those things were we probably won't get a consensus and that's fine. What's not fine is Mila Kunas telling me what I can and cannot call my state of soon to be a father. If a couple is with child and they want to refer to themselves, collectively, as "we're pregnant" let them. It doesn't take anything away from your pregnancy or your point of view. Unlike the LBGTQ community, you're pregnant for a while and then you aren't. So it's really just a fluid phrase that is used for 9 months and then disposed of like a dirty diaper. So chill out Mila and go get some ice cream.

Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment below. Here's the part where I beg for stuff because we get paid in likes, shares, re-tweets and feedback. Please also do any and all of the following:

Follow Mysteries of Life on Twitter (@MysteriesOLife), Facebook or subscribe via email.

Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Leave a comment