8 Things I'm Giving Up For Lent

8 Things I'm Giving Up For Lent
"This one's for you Ukraine. And my hot mom."

If you watched only Olympic hockey and nothing else, you'd probably assume that Russia was a nation of pacifists.

Why? Well, that's because Alex Ovechkin and the rest of Russia's stars sat on their skates peacefully for the entirety of the 2014 Olympics. Each player sat there waiting for the golden pass of the puck that never came. Everybody wanted to sit back, just hang out and wait for the Gold.

What is unfortunate is the fact that Russia's president, Vladimir Putin, isn't the same kind of pacifist. As Putin has taken a hard line against his former countrymen in the Ukraine, the current situation has shaken up the region and we've now got the kind of unrest that has celebrities and part-time activists constantly chattering.  Scarcely a minute into Jared Leto's Oscars acceptance speech the other night we're hearing about the Ukraine.

Sure, Leto didn't drone on about Ukraine the way that a Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon sideshow might have done, which is a good thing. After all, viewers were less interested in what he had to say than we were in his hot mom sitting in the audience.

Three days later still, I couldn't stop thinking of it all.  Oscars, Ukraine, hot moms and the angst they create couldn't be warded off by my coffee as  I left the house this morning, looking at the Chicago snow fall. As the flakes descended, laughing in my face, I thought, "Again? You've got to me fucking kidding me."

Since all of the above has my pants in a bunch, it's probably right for me to give up political news, angst about the weather, the Olympics, and the Oscars for Lent. Like a good former altar boy should, I can probably come up with a few other things to give up for Lent too:

1. Talking about sports. (I know... Good luck with that)
2. This constant snow. And this fucking bullshit weather.
3. Complaining about the weather.
4. Making fun of Russian Olympic hockey. Team USA and their choke is still game.
5. Making fun of The Oscars. And talking about Jared Leto's hot mom.
6. Pathological lies about everything I just said.
7. Lists.
8. Irony.


Andy Frye writes about sports and entertainment for ESPN.com and Derby Life. He's only giving up Lent for Lent.

Filed under: Film, Hockey, Humor

Tags: Jared Leto, Lent. Oscars

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