National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day March 10, 2011: For Colored Girls who have Considered...

I am on the Metra when I get the call. 

 

I am on the Metra when I get the call around 7:30 p.m., heading home later than usual. I stayed at work late because I took a long lunch to go to the doctor. I had just seen Dr. B a couple of months earlier--right before I started dating "him"--for my annual. Everything was in fine, working order. Now, here I am having to back to her office.

 

I. Can't. Pee.

I'd experienced having to pee too much before; seems like I can't look at a man without getting some type of UTI or yeast infection. They're so routine I keep a stash of amoxicillin "just in case", like I take Theraflu when I feel the sniffles coming on. But the no pee'n shyt? That was brand new, Code Red.

 

Tired, my head leaned up against the window, I know it can't be good when the number to the doctor's office pops up on my phone. I know it's worse than not good when it's Dr. B's voice on the line and not some random after-hours nurse.

 

"We have the results of your labs back."

"Okaaaay..." Slight smile in my voice because I laugh when I'm uncomfortable.

"It appears you have chlamydia and ---"

 

My ears go deaf at "and". My mind couldn't process "and". What the f*** you mean "and"? I'm genuinely confused. Even at 24-years-old it had never really dawned on me that STIs could actually travel in pairs. Talk about unheard of. As it turns out, gonorrhea followed her "and", and followed my thoughts the rest of my ride home.

 

You ever cried on a train or a bus before? Not looking at nobody so that maybe they (or God) will be kind enough to have nobody looking at you crying? It sucks.

 

Dr. B called in my prescription to the 24 Hours Walgreen's closest to my house. Driving, thinking and worried. How did I let this happen? I know better. What is he gonna say? How do I even tell him? Am I angry? Angry at him? People can walk around with all kinds of diseases and not know they're sick; how can I be mad at him if he doesn't even know he has this--these? Thank God I don't have HIV. Thank God I'm not pregnant.

 

Back home, I take this medicine designed to eradicate all this nastiness going on in my body and it gives me horrible diarrhea and cramps. Still in a state of disbelief, I feel something like anger but not quite. Sadness, but deeper than that. Then I remembered the Lady in Green and her refrain"somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff." That's EXACTLY how I felt!

 

I could've been taken out the game behind this...internal scarring...unable to have children...left with a Scarlet Letter on my womanhood, tainted to any future men...it could have been HIV. All for what? We weren't even that serious about each other. I kept re-reading Lady in Green's poem and it was Ntozake's words and not "him" that comforted me through that experience.

 

He didn't even seem concerned for me or even himself when I told him.

*********************************************************************

For more information on National Women & Girls HIV/AID Awareness Day and HIV/AIDS education, visit www.redpumpproject.com.

Comments

Leave a comment
  • Most people have herpes/hiv/hpv may feel lonely and shamed. But 70 million are afflicted with STD in the U.S. alone and an estimated over 400 million worldwide. There is an exclusive community PozFish,com for singles and friends with STD. If you just need to find someone to talk to or need help or advice, this is the best place. Never feel lonely again!

  • HIV is not actually a death sentence. It is a disease that can be managed and be controlled by the individual who acquired it allowing him to live a long normal and productive life like anyone else. POZmingle the largest dating and support site for HIV singles claim that they have 200,000 HIV members, Most of them are here to find understanding, support and love. It is really a good thing that encourage each other, Leading a healthy life.

  • fb_avatar

    Hello ,i am Christie Bolt from New York Texas,i am 37 years old,i saw a comment posted by wandy brimm from Vegas, on how she was free from skin cancer with cannabis CANNABIS OIL by doctor HAKIM , i was diagnosed of HPV infections for the pass two years , i contacted wandy and she told me that this very doctor cures HPV cancer , and he also cures HIV/AIDS too, then i contacted DR.HAKIM, so he told me what to do to get healing and free from HPV , so i make provisions for the HERBAL CREAM which i used for two weeks and now just to see that the exact week which doctor hakim told me i we be healed i was felling good and healthy , my skin regained, i went for check up in the hospital and my doctor told that me that all the virus disappeared from my blood vessels and normal, then drhakim asked me to promise him that i we testify of his good herbal work to the world, so I we like you to contact him (dr.hakimherbalspellworld@gmail.com ) if you have any health issue i believe doctor hakim we help you .here is my email adress you can contact me ChristieBolt@outlook.com

Leave a comment

  • ChicagoNow is full of win

    Welcome to ChicagoNow.

    Meet our bloggers,
    post comments, or
    pitch your blog idea.

  • Advertisement:
  • Fresh Chicago News

  • Meet The Blogger

    Sandria311

    I'm from Chicago, but I swear I live on my own planet. In my world, it makes perfect sense to be a writer/editor/natural hair model/actress/poet/PR consultant/humanitarian/all around really cool chick--24/7!

  • Recent Comments

  • Categories

  • Monthly Archives

  • Latest on ChicagoNow

  • Advertisement: