Chronicles of a Daughter-Mommy: Crashing the Elderly Ice Cream Social

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When you start getting invited to events in your mother's senior citizen building it becomes painfully obvious that you've been spending way too much time there. After doing my "Sandria thing" earlier in the day (had a great meeting that ended in two paying assignments!), I came back to my mama's apartment and as soon as i walked in the nice lady who always tries to "steal" my cute handbags told me they were about to have an ice cream social in the community room. Food and social? Two of my favorite things--I'm there!

I figured, hey, if you can't beat 'em join 'em. At times, it's difficult for me because as I'm trying to watch my life move forward-even when it feels like it's stalled--I feel like I'm similtaneously watching my mother's life move backward. It's hard and I don't always want to be here to face the realities, but one of the things I'm learning is how to embrace life and lean into the curves life is throwing at me. Since I'm here and the ice cream is here I might as well enjoy the sweetness life is offering me.

Of course, I was one of the first people down there because I highly believe in being on time for food. Plus, my mama reminded me people may still have money left over from the 1st/3rd and it may be a line. I don't believe in lines. Fortunately, I was ahead of the rush.

While I sat down and waited for the sundae and banana split I ordered (guess which one was for me), I started thinking about how hosting ice cream socials could be me and my girlfriends in 30 years. Of course, I think we'll be living much more fabulous and flyer and doing our socials on cruises or something, but I had to wonder if we'd be the jazzy old ladies planning events for everybody.

Back in high school I did student council, math club, prom and homecoming committees; college was Black Student Union and the NAACP and these days I'm still pretty active with my hand in everything. This probably won't change when I'm 60. This whole experience with my mother continues to show me that the more things change the more they really do stay the same. Watching Miss Patty, who also coordinates the weekly fish fry that I'm also never late for and chairs the tenant council, take orders and scoop up ice cream made me wonder if she was that super involved, overachiever back in her younger years. I bet she was.  And I'm glad she's still doing her thing.

Maybe next week (I just found out the socials are every Monday during the summer--score!), I'll give them some event them how to get some more folks in the doors! Maybe they'll let me setup a Facebook invite, lol.


Filed under: non-fiction

Tags: caretaking, ice cream


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  • I'm dealing with this situation with my mom, also. An unexpected injury slowed her down though. She used to "run" everything. Once again, tho, I see that involvement is the key to a rich life in old age, something I've been stressing to her in the last few years. Maybe one day, she'll hear and plug into life again.

  • My prayers are with you and your family. It really is important to stay active and keep our interests and passions ignited. I hope your mom with "plug into life again" too. Once we slow down it becomes that much easier just to stop.

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