One word that will destroy any relationship

One word that will destroy any relationship
Why is it that people stop talking in a relationship? Is it because “life gets in the way,” or it simply wasn’t meant to be? The spark dies? (The spark was never there?) It’s different for everyone, I know, but something I read a while back always pops in my head when I think about the... Read more »

How to have a teenage summer

How to have a teenage summer
Every year since becoming “a grownup,” I’ve always felt like summer passes me by and when I reach the end, I look around and feel like I’ve done NOTHING. Nothing to soak up what summer really means to me — which can be different for everyone, but I want summer to be fun, breezy and carefree: just like... Read more »

How people react is about them, not you

How people react is about them, not you
Last week, I had a difficult conversation with a friend. She recently moved, and while back in town for a visit, we caught up — briefly — over a cup of coffee before I had to get going to deal with a situation at home. I didn’t realize at the time, because she didn’t act... Read more »
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Divorce reminds you of what matters in life

Divorce reminds you of what matters in life
There’s nothing like a shitty situation to bring out the best (or worst) in people. It’s been nearly 5 months since my divorce was settled, but it feels like a lot longer — I served my ex-husband with papers almost a year ago; things had already taken a turn for the worse 4 years ago; and... Read more »

When romantic love dies, the heart looks for other things to love

When romantic love dies, the heart looks for other things to love
One thing I find myself repeating over and over as a parent is, “It’s just a phase.” Refusing dinner, nighttime waking, only drinking out of a purple sippy cup — we know they’re phases, and we spend most of each phase waiting it out, looking forward to the end, knowing full well that a new one is... Read more »

The things you let go of when a relationship ends

The things you let go of when a relationship ends
Last Saturday, I filled a dumpster. I threw in a handful of big red patio pavers, remnants of an attempt at a walkway from the deck, around the side of the house and into the back yard. Each one cracked with a satisfying thud. I picked up piles of rotten plywood, covered in ants and eggs, haphazardly... Read more »
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The day I donated my wedding dress

The day I donated my wedding dress
There are some things in life you never imagine giving away. Golden heart-shaped lockets with tiny pictures taped inside; crystal bowls that used to hold sticky hard candies; all the books you read and loved and underlined. But if you ask me, there are also as many reasons to give things away as there are things themselves.... Read more »

My father was strong, and he raised a strong woman

My father was strong, and he raised a strong woman
On the 27th of every month, I think of my dad. He died on March 27th, 2014. It’s still hard to talk about. My voice gets weak, I have to go real slow telling the story of what happened, and I will, inevitably, end up crying, if I can even make it to the end.... Read more »

Spring cleaning, empty boxes and filling them with care

Spring cleaning, empty boxes and filling them with care
I have never washed the windows from the outside of my house. Half of them even fold over on the inside, for easy cleaning — which I just realized while editing this. I’ve never dutifully scrubbed the soap scum from the sides of the tub — I just spray on some Clorox Clean-Up and hope... Read more »
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What the guy at the Apple Store taught me about happiness

What the guy at the Apple Store taught me about happiness
Sometimes you don’t know how unhappy you are until you come out on the other side. I haven’t written here in a while — mostly because a couple months ago, my ex-husband and I finalized our divorce. Any life above the daily minimum felt impossible and inconsequential. If you’ve ever been here, yes: while the shit... Read more »