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F*ck the shoulds. Do the wants!

F*ck the shoulds. Do the wants!
Your Joyologist on Etsy

Pardon the profanity, but to be honest, I had a different title for this post that was nowhere near as succinct! Then I remembered the print featured above from Your Joyologist. There's just no better way to say it. (Plus now you know what to get me for Christmas!)

I am friends with a lot of business owners and entrepreneurs, and within the community, believe it or not a lot of the time a lot of us are throwing our hands up in the air saying we still don't know what we should be doing in business! There may be a course offering that flops, a few sessions with clients that are not the right fit and, yes, some wonderful gems in between, but all the while there's this subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) undercurrent that wants to SCREAM out for attention: This isn't enough! Isn't there something more? Shouldn't there be something better than this?

I have been doing it for a couple weeks now too. Okay, that's not entirely true. The "what should I do" question has been haunting me in several areas of life for years (which is completely normal, I know), but in the past couple weeks specifically I realized that I had been praying and asking for guidance using those exact words:

What should I do? What else? And WHAT ELSE?

Literally extending my hands up toward the heavens. And sure, I got some answers. But when I changed the question, the answer brought tears of joy to my eyes. What did I change it to? You guessed it:

What do I want to do?

It sounds crazy to me to think that I don't know what I want. But at the same time, if I really had a clear picture, I'm pretty sure I'd be going after it 100% and trusting and believing in the outcome. So really unpacking WHY the want is a mystery can sometimes be necessary. And although I have grown to hate going down the "why" rabbit hole, it was suggested this week in an online course I'm taking to be brave and start naming your fears — and what came up for me immediately was, "I don't want to be stuck doing something I don't want to do!" Redundant, I know, but valuable all the same: Just in changing that language, I felt a shift and came up with an idea that felt really fun, authentic and exciting.

At the same time, I did sort of a 360 with the tail end of that question. See, I'm a list maker. I make lists all the time about what I like (to eat/cook/do) and what I want — in life. I write down what delights me. I try to keep top of mind, again, what I want to do — when I have free time, right now, tomorrow morning, after dinner. I am constantly asking myself, What would feel good right now? And I go and I do that. I don't have a lot of obligations, and I keep my schedule rather free outside of work commitments. Which is all fine and dandy — but I thought, maybe I need to do this list writing in business, too. What do I want to write about? How do I most enjoy using social media? What feels good in terms of engaging and connecting with my audience? And yet I couldn't bring myself to sit down and draw up that list. Is that just speaking to another fear? Maybe. But what came to me was this quote from Jody England:

Your life is your work, and your work is your practice. It should NOT be separate from who you are!

I scratched "in business" from the end of that question, and, perhaps with more intentionality, I tacked "in life" right back on with emphasis. After all, isn't everyone's dream to "do what you love" (and the money will follow)? It could be just another stall tactic, I know. Very pie in the sky. But, and remember this is what's most important to me, it feels good! It feels promising. It feels like I'm on the right track. I wait for moments like these, and I tally them up. They are what guide my path.

This may sound vague and even a little woo-woo, but it's progress. When you stop doing things just because you think you "should" and instead you focus on what you WANT, your life changes. At the very least, it is instantly more fun. And you know me — I'm also thinking that this is gold. This is juicy. This is what Joseph Campbell meant when he said "follow your bliss."

Maybe it's time to blur the lines between life and business. If it's something you're spending 40 hours on each week, in a sense, your business is your life.

I won't say you "should" enjoy it, but you want to...right?

My Peace of Food is written by Lexie Oneca. Follow Lexie's work on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest

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Filed under: Chasing peace, Money

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