You guys know that I hold nothing back here when it comes to body bashing, self-deprecating humor and working on my flaws and faults. So I will tell you that when I was taking notes on what I really need to change in this area specifically, this is what I wrote — and I promise, this has not been edited at all:
"Looking in the mirror and thinking I'm ugly, I should dress better, I should look better, my body is not normal, I have no boobs, there's nothing I can do to get rid of this cellulite and it's disgusting."
How SAD is that? I mean, I don't go around thinking this stuff constantly or anything (perhaps because I avoid looking in the mirror all together), but still. These ideas have been ingrained into my brain after years of being confronted with images of the "perfect" female form in the media — on TV, in magazines and via the internet — and although this is no new message, and many may be sick of hearing it, it's very real. I've never had a full-blown eating disorder, but I can see how in a split second something can just set you off and make you feel inferior, hideous, not good enough. It's out there. It's an imperfect world.
So in my quest to eliminate these faulty thought patterns from my mind, thus far I've totally avoided the topic of mirror work. It sounds....goofy. Cheesy. Corny. Tell me: Have YOU ever looked at yourself in the mirror, really stared into your own eyes, and told yourself you love yourself just the way you are? Maybe "I love you, [insert your name here]." Or just the three quick words themselves: I Love You.
In the mirror.
I have to say it again: I totally experience resistance when thinking about doing this. It will make me feel stupid at first, I'm certain. Silly, at best. Uncomfortable, surely. The words "idiot" and "dork" come to mind.
SMH. I know I shouldn't use those words. Especially about myself. But I bet you don't practice this either. I would even go so far as to say that you don't know anyone who does. Had you ever even heard of mirror work before today? Again — doubtful.
There is always that part of me, however, that hears of a challenge (like a cleanse, or a writing goal, even just adding one more thing to my calendar) and immediately wants to do it. I'm not sure if that's the ambitious part of me or the masochistic part of me, already expecting failure — it's all so black and white at the start, and yet I know I won't reach perfection — but this falls right in line. Because I think I can't do mirror work without feeling like a moron, I am DETERMINED to do mirror work even IF it makes me feel like a moron. At first.
I've only read a few short pieces on mirror work, but they are exciting to a newbie. Changes within a week? Power? Magic? Actually, this is all starting to sound like a Rhonda Byrne book...Been there, done that; God was missing.
So in a sense, if this is going to work at all, if you are really going to stop all the face hate and body bashing, you need to really believe what you're saying. Even if not at first; it can take a while. But stay in line with your belief and values system. Whether that's affirming that you are beautiful or smart, funny or creative, made in the likeness of God or a child of the universe. Apparently, as I intend to find out, talking yourself up in front of a mirror is a great way to finally put your faith in your full potential.
Go on. Be a dork with me. Try some mirror work today. Who knows? Tomorrow you might feel like less of a dork.