Who would win the Stanley Cup of goal songs?

Who would win the Stanley Cup of goal songs?

I’m sure every town is a sports town, but sometimes it feels like Chicago has an obsession with its sports teams.  How else to explain the loyalty to the Cubs?  But these days, even as glorious as a summer afternoon at Wrigley Field might be, Chicagoans are living and breathing the sport of our northern neighbors.  Stanley Cup fever is nearly at epidemic levels as the Blackhawks are currently tied 2-2 with the Bruins.  Even I (me!) have caught the bug, a little anyway.

Did you know that each team has a special song that they play after they score a goal?  I know!  I never thought about it (at all), but I guess way back in my pea brain I thought it was just a Blackhawks thing.  Once the playoffs were upon us, I noticed that lo and behold: every team has that loud horn and plays a song after they score a goal.

I decided to conduct a study of the goal songs of the teams in the playoffs (I know that discriminates against the crappy teams, and as a Cub fan I should be more sensitive, but there were just too many to do them all).  Here they are in order from best to worse as determined by an expert (me).

1. Chicago Blackhawks – “Chelsea Dagger” (The Fratellis).  I’m not biased or anything; I really do think this is the best song.  There are just enough vocals to get crowd involvement, but (lucky break) they’re not actually words, so even the most inebriated can participate.  And I like using a song that isn’t associated with anything else (oops, except a beer commercial).  Yay!

2. Vancouver Canucks – “Gold on the Ceiling” (Black Keys).  This is a great song in its own right, and it’s got just enough feel of badass to make it hockey worthy.  The fact that it’s a bit familiar encourages crowd involvement.

3. Boston Bruins – “Zombie Nation” (Kernkraft 400).  It breaks my heart to not have the Bruins’ song at the bottom of the list, but this one is good.  I pretty much like it for the same reasons I like Chelsea Dagger.

4. Anaheim Ducks – “Pennywise” (Bro Hymn Tribute).  We’re getting into neutral territory.  A lot of these here in the middle are fine but nothing special.  This is one of them.

5. Detroit Red Wings – “Hey Hey Hockey Town” (Kid Rock) and “Can’t Hold Us” (Macklemore and Ryan Lewis).  That last song was used during the playoffs.  Well, kudos for using a personalized song from Detroit’s Sweetheart (although I didn’t love it), and I am smitten with the Macklemore song.  It does bother me a little to switch songs for the playoffs.  How does that build loyalty to a goal song?

6. L.A. Kings – “I Love LA” (Randy Newman).  Again, a nod to the personal touch.  In real life the goal song morphs from Randy to something that even my phone was unable to decipher.

7. New York Rangers – “Slapshot” (Ray Castioldi).  It’s fine, nothing particularly memorable.

8. (Tie) Minnesota Wild and New York Islanders – “Crows Chant” (Joe Satriani).  I don’t love this song, but it’s not offensive.  I’m sorry these teams share a song.  It makes it less special for both of them, and isn’t hockey all about having a special goal song?

9. Ottawa Senators – “More” (Usher) and “Song 2” (Blur).  The Blur song was used during the playoffs.  I’m not crazy about using a pop song as the goal song.  I get nervous that Ryan Seacrest will break in, which would be a huge buzzkill.  Also, see comments from #5 on introducing a new goal song for the playoffs.

10. (Tie) San Jose Sharks and Pittsburgh Penguins – “Rock and Roll, Part 2” (Gary Glitter).  This is a fabulous song, but it’s sooo predictable and has been around forever.  I swear I remember it from Bulls games 20 years ago.  Try harder!

11. Montréal CanadiensL’Oreille.  No idea, I’m assuming this is some French name or song (I don’t even know which).  Isn’t there some kind of law in Canada that they are only allowed to listen to music by Canadians?  Could explain Celine Dion’s success.  Anyway, this song is sort of slow and nothing special.

12. Toronto Maple Leafs – “Turbulence” (Steve Aoki & Laidback, feat. Lil Jon).  This song is so-so, but there are some indications that they actually got a new goal song.  There shouldn’t be so much confusion.  Get the fans on board with ONE song.

13. Washington Capitals – As best I could tell this team doesn’t have a dedicated goal song, which is totally lame.  The only reason this isn’t last is because the last place song is actually offensive.

14. St. Louis Blues – Last and least is what I can only describe as circus music.  Who would ever take that seriously?  This music would actually disincentive players from scoring just to keep from hearing it.

Go Hawks!

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