10:28 - Time for bed. What a great night- thanks for joining me!
10:22 - Album of the Year: "The Suburbs" by Arcade Fire. Well, I must now eat my words. I am shocked that they won! I'd like a look at Eminem's face since everyone thought he would win, but it would look exactly the same as if he had won since he only has one expression: anger. Arcade Fire's acceptance speech includes playing another song- the really do rock! I hope they don't become un-cool now that they'll probably become lots more popular.
10:11 - Jason Segel from "How I Met Your Mother" introduces Arcade Fire singing "Month of May". I love this group and am thrilled that a band that is a little "alternative" has been recognized amongst the nominees for Album of the Year, even though everyone knows they won't win (just being honest). I am concerned that the lighting they're using could induce seizures, however.
10:02 - Record of the Year (songwriting award): "Need You Now" performed by Lady Antebellum. I'm over Lady Antebellum, so let's talk about how uncomfortable Marc Anthony and J-Lo were during the introduction- some negative body language by J-Lo. Just saying...
9:58 - Puff/Diddy/P/Daddy introduced Rihanna and Drake singing "What's My Name". I am distracted by P. Did's grill because I think it might be the same one I have. Rihanna is showing us more of her booty than we need to see, although the show has gone so long that it's now "late night" rather than "prime time", so the grinding is probably acceptable.
9:50 - Best Rap Album: "Recovery" by Eminem. He is stone-faced for the acceptance, although it would be a farce to act surprised. Exciting to have Nicki Minaj and Will.i.Am presenting!
9:46 - Kris Kristopherson (how old IS he now? My daughter just asked if he was going to die onstage) introduces Barbara Streisand, "Person of the Year". As thanks, she treats us to a "rare performance". Kids asking who Barbara Streisand is and I am realizing that two of the four kids have not yet showered and one is not done with homework. It is not true that they do not need parental prodding on these tasks once they reach high school, disappointingly.
9:35 - Memories of dead musicians we've never heard of leads strangely into the performance by Mick Jagger. This is supposed to be a really big deal because he has never performed at the Grammys before. Never mind all his other lifetime's worth of performances- this is the big one!
9:28 - Mr. Schuester from Glee gets to introduce the president of the Grammys. What a bad draw for him! I take it back- he also gets to remember all the dead musicians from 2010. Score! Goodness, they did not leave anyone off of that list- I have never heard of most of these people. Even an "entertainment attorney" got mentioned.
9:20 - Best New Artist: Esperanza Spalding. I would so far call this the upset of the night. I was so sure Drake was going to win. Who is this person? Please give us a short bio while you're accepting your award, Esperanza!
9:12 - Seth Rogen introduces the performance of Eminem and Rihanna. Rihanna has apparently forgotten her brush with domestic violence (two years ago?) on the eve or night of the Grammys as she sings "Love The Way You Lie". Eminem joins Rihanna. Comments from the peanut gallery: "He seems like an angry young man" and "Eminem is white?"
9:04 - Song Of The Year: "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum. I really wanted Cee Lo to win for "The song otherwise known as 'Forget You'".
9:02 - Norah Jones, Keith Urban and John Mayer perform together. Does John Mayer not look exactly like Johnny Depp tonight? One can only guess they are singing a Dolly Parton song based on Dolly's picture in the background. I have to say they sound good together.
8:57 - Neil Patrick Harris introduces Katy Perry's performance; she is sitting on a strange glitter swing while she sings, fully bedazzled for Valentine's Day. Confusingly, she has chosen to sing what must be her only song that no one has ever heard. I can only hope she is strapped into her swing as she is taken up in the air on her swing with a backdrop of her wedding pictures. Those pictures may be moot by this time next year- just my prediction.
8:47 - Jamie Foxx introduces Cee Lo Green singing "Forget You" (as opposed to "F*** You", his more famous song). The kids are going nuts for the Muppets accompanying him. Never mind that my youngest child is in seventh grade. They love the feathers and bling! Enter Gwyneth Paltrow to sing with him, reprising her performance on "Glee". Gwyneth is wearing a jumpsuit, which my 18-year old called a onesie. Cee Lo looks fabulous!
8:44 - Best Country Album: "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum. BTW, presented by Miley Cyrus and Kings of Leon. How do they come up with these combos?
8:40 - Lea Michelle (Glee) and Clay Matthews (um, Green Bay Packers - ???) introduce Lady Antebellum's performance. One of my kids just asked if Clay knew he was going to be on the Grammys tonight based on his outfit- a tad casual.
8:25 - David Letterman introduces Mumford & Sons after doing a Top 10 list related to the Grammys. Nice to hear them singing something new ("The Cave") rather than their signature song ("Little Lion Man"). They have more in their arsenal than that song! Mumford is followed by The Avett Brothers. I have to admit I had to Google them- never heard of them. Husband just poked his head in the room to see who they are- good twang! Finally, Bob Dylan comes out to growl a song and is accompanied by the two aforementioned bands. It's like a bluegrass festival with all of them on stage.
8:21 - Best Pop Vocal Album: "The Fame Monster" by Lady Gaga. Gaga thanks all her "monsters" (fans). I would say she is wearing a strange outfit, but that tells us nothing. She is straight out of The Terminator. She is thanking Whitney Houston? Unexpected.
8:14 - Best Rock Album: "The Resistance" (Muse)
8:05 - Eva Longoria-
Parker introduces Usher and Justin Bieber (Usher discovered Biebs). My kids are doing the wave as JB sings "Baby" with his new post-puberty voice. Jaden Smith comes out to sing with Justin and a very cute cut to the proud parents. Aww! Some scary ninja acrobatics during both Biebs' and Usher's performances. I'm resigned to the fact that this is not really an awards show anymore.
7:58 - Female Country Vocal: "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert
7:49 - Bruno Mars, B.o.B. and Janelle Monae perform. I am setting aside my grumpiness about this not being an awards show for the moment since I love these three! I am excited that Janelle is getting some airplay- she's fantastic! Bruno is doing an old-time black and white deal. He used to do Elvis impersonations for pay as a youngster- you can see it with that hair!
7:39 - Lenny Kravitz (when did he get a buzz cut?) introduces Muse to sing their latest. I'm starting to hate the Grammys. It's not actually an awards show yet.
7:33 - Blake Shelton introduces his fiance, Miranda Lambert, who is performing "The House That Built Me", which is nominated for Song Of The Year. I couldn't even tell you if the performance is any good because I'm like a toddler who wants dinner at this point. I might start whining.
7:30 - Seriously, we're 30 minutes in and they've done one award. The pace is going to have to pick up a bit.
7:22 - Lady Gaga "hatches" from her egg to perform her new song ("Born This Way"- that's why she came out of the egg, apparently). She is dressed in yellow like a chick- well, a belly dancing chick. She is whipping that long ponytail like Willow Smith! And...now her backup dancers seem to be "jamming in the nude" as one of my kids noted.
7:20 - Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group: "Hey, Soul Sister" (Train) - pretty boring acceptance speech
7:13 - Special message from Aretha Franklin, dressed in white and sitting in an all white room- possibly already in heaven. I'm getting impatient for the show to actually start.
7:02- Looks like we'll be spending some time paying tribute to Aretha Franklin tonight. Christina Aguilera, Florence (from Florence & The Machine- who knows her last name), Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride and Yolanda Adams (who is that?) - are doing an Aretha Franklin medley. Fairly entertaining but getting long. Let's get to the awards!
7:00- Between Gaga hatching out of the egg and Nicki Minaj's hair, this should be an interesting evening. I think it will be rather funny if Lady Gaga doesn't win anything after all this hype!