Ms Crankypants reviews the 2012 Olympics

Opening Ceremony: Well-populated, historic, incoherent, cinematic, nice flame.

Women’s gymnastics coverage: Too cutesy-pie and emotional. These girls are there because they are athletes, not girlfriends.

The right guy in the right job: Bob Costas

Most mystifying hire by NBC: Ryan Seacrest as special correspondent. Don’t they know that there are other youngish media types they could have chosen that might be more connected to this world? This isn’t Dancing with the Stars; this is the Olympics, you know, like sports.

Best Today Show sideshow: Al Roker’s daily quiz on the meaning of British phrases. Pip Pip.

Michael Phelps narrative: Switched from initial chiding guess-he-should-have been-more-committed to full-on hero worship when the gold medals started to roll in. Liked the attention to his mother who must have logged years of hair-frizzing swim meets to get him to this point.

Favorite non-sport-seeming sport: Synchronized swimming, which seems like the Show Choir version of actual swimming, but look at how athletic they must be to pull that off. If they lost the clown suits and makeup it would be easier to take them seriously. And where are the men?

Suggestion for the water polo folks: Those baby bonnet hats aren’t helping us take you seriously either. Just saying.

Most amazing full-out go-for-broke performance:
The last two men’s high bar standouts – first the German guy Hambuchen who whooped with glee when he landded, only to be bested by the Netherlands guy Zonderland who followed him . Nobody fell, nobody missed the bar, nobody landed on his butt.

Most heart-tugging interview completely lacking context:
Today’s Savannah Guthrie interviewed tearful LoLo Jones about her fourth place finish and her broken-heartedness about the apparently excoriating yet mysterious to me media coverage she had previously received. Really? Tell me more, or don’t tell me at all.

All-around best attire: Those nice neon green shoes.

We’ll have the Ms C Olympic wrap up after the closing ceremony. Stay tuned.

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