Posts tagged "Parenting"

Parenting 101: Mind your own business (and then blog about it later)

Do you typically mind your own business? When you are presented with an opportunity to give unsolicited advice or information about raising kids to other parents, do you resist? Something we should all learn in Parenting 101 is to mind our own fucking business. Is it hard for you? Me too. If it’s hard for... Read more »

A few things about parenting and listening (and farting)

“Can you say ‘Momma? Say ‘ball? ‘Moo’ says the cow. Can you say ‘moo?’” I said these things hundreds of times to my kids when they were babies, encouraging them to talk. “’Why don’t you ever ask for Daddy? No, I don’t have time to play ball with you. Stop ‘mooing,’ Little Cow, you are... Read more »

Blurred Lines: Setting and maintaining boundaries

I love a good metaphor more than I love guacamole, and that’s saying something, because I love guacamole more than almost any damn thing! My most recent metaphor-riffic obsession is the concept of BLURRED LINES! A very intense conversation with a friend about parenting, and yes, also the hit song, Blurred Lines, by Robin Thicke... Read more »
Advertisement:

Asking why as time goes by

Kids! They grow so fast and want to know everything – NOW! Their thirst for knowledge is unparalleled and difficult to tolerate sometimes, but damn if the time doesn’t fly by. My firstborn turns 13 tomorrow and I don’t know how the hell I am going to handle parenting a teenager. Dear GOD can I... Read more »

Would you like fries with that? Why teenagers should have part time jobs

Would you like fries with that? Why teenagers should have part time jobs
A hot topic in the parenting world today is whether teens should work. Let me re-phrase that. A hot topic in the la-la land-parenting world is whether teens should work. La-di-da…… Of course they should work. Teenagers should do homework, chores, practice whatever thing they are doing for fun or sport. They should work on... Read more »

Weaning kids - There is a wrong way

One of the most glorious sounds in the world is the piercing cry of a newborn baby. Everyone in the room sighs and delights. It never gets old, you know, witnessing a miracle. And then another magnificent sound is the silence. After the baby has been cleaned up, swaddled, and fed, they are just a... Read more »
Advertisement:

Bronco, Mittens, Politics and Parenting - Why grown ups need to stop acting like children

I agree with Abigael. Seriously. I am so tired of all the political shit talking and dumbfuckery, it makes me want to cry too! And although there are no tears at casa de Knepper, I have one freaked out little girl on my hands with regard to Bronco Bamma and Mittens. Cate - MOOOOOOM! Who... Read more »

Cellulite, Wild Bill and the Paradigm Principle

If my life depended on it I could not remember the name of the deli I was at when I first became aware of cellulite, but I’m telling you right fucking NOW that I remember re-thinking my sandwich choice. I was 16 years old and if I’m being honest, I was Britney Spears in her... Read more »

Professional Mom goes to Prom

Edgardo the bartender is something of a fox and I’m not ashamed to say that I think so. He’s also a VERY good listener and photographer. VERY. So on Saturday night when I was in Seattle at Mamacon, I said to myself, SELF – you have nowhere to put a phone or any other crap... Read more »
Advertisement:

It all started with the stupid cheese fries

I was sitting with my Godson, IV, a week or so ago and my phone kept crapping out and it was making me stabby since I needed to get ahold of my son. So instead of chucking it across the room, I yelled at it, “STUPID PHONE!” IV looked at me like I’d just socked him in... Read more »