Posts tagged "Motherhood"

Cellulite, Wild Bill and the Paradigm Principle

If my life depended on it I could not remember the name of the deli I was at when I first became aware of cellulite, but I’m telling you right fucking NOW that I remember re-thinking my sandwich choice. I was 16 years old and if I’m being honest, I was Britney Spears in her... Read more »

The Presidential Nom pitts Mom vs. Mom

Cocky and ignorant = ME Those words only begin to describe the person I was on the telephone ten years ago, listening to one of my most precious friends vent her feelings of deep frustration and isolation with regard being a stay at home mother of small children while having a husband that traveled excessively... Read more »

Why I need a freezer in my bedroom

I get a headache once a month, maybe twice. I’m not headachey, so when I do have a thumpy melon I don’t cope well. Because I KNOW this and because I love my family, I put myself in a time-out so that I don’t damage anybody’s feelings permanently with my horribleness. Last night I was... Read more »

Drama Momma plays Doctor Doom

Boy –      Mom, would you help me bandage up this cut on my knee? I think it’s infected? Me-       HOLY SHIT! IT’S TOTALLY INFECTED! How did this get so bad? You have to tell me when you have a cut like this! Boy-       I forgot. Me-       YOU FORGOT? Dude, you could lose a leg... Read more »