Category: WTH Wednesday

Just when I thought I knew a lot of things, I learned that ducks have corkscrew penises

My son knows stuff. He still loads the dishwasher WRONG WRONG WRONG, but he knows stuff. Stuff about ducks. Stuff about duck dicks. Don’t feed the ducks any funnel cake! They might get the diarrhea! – Me Ducks always sling mud because they have weak sphincter. Their poo is always soft serve. – Zach Ugh.... Read more »

I'm a little jealous of Jill Duggar

Jill Duggar-Dillard is pregnant. Damn, that was rapid-fire baby making, even by Duggar standards. I can just see her mighty breeder eggs leaping out of her ovaries and rolling toward the gallons of her husband’s pent up spermies. I’m jealous. Not because she’s pregnant. Oh hell no. I’d rather spend ten years wiping drool off... Read more »

You will always be wrong, and that's all right, because everything is going to be all right

You will always be wrong, and that’s all right. I’m sad that Robin Williams died from depression. That’s how he died you know, from depression. Depression manifests itself differently in each host human, much like cancer or any other disease. It’s a chronic, progressive condition. It can be treated, yes, but even when it’s well... Read more »

A goodbye letter to my childhood home

This post was written as part of the monthly ChicagoNow Blogapalooza challenge. Blogger are given a topic and 9 PM and have one hour to write. Post due at 10 PM. Topic? Write a love letter to something, not a person, a thing. This is what I ripped out in an hour. Dear Old House,... Read more »

Flexible Families are Forever Families: Part One

Healthy families do certain things right. A family can have some bat-shit crazy members and struggle with serious physical, financial, emotional and spiritual challenges and still be super healthy. How? Because healthy families have an abundance of three essential characteristics: flexibility, openness and love. Today’s post is about the first characteristic, flexibility. Let’s do this.... Read more »

The Ridiculously Amazing Jason Good

You might not know who Jason Good is, but I’m sure you’ve read his ridiculously amazing blog posts,  Three Minutes Inside the Head of a Two Year Old and 46 Reasons My Three Year Old Might Be Freaking Out and thought to yourself, “Self, who IS this funny motherfucker?” If you haven’t read those blogs,... Read more »

Mental Health Month and Pubic Hair

May is Mental Health Month and so, as often as possible during the very, merry month of May, I will be sharing information about all things mental health! I will be sharing my own writing, the writing of others, links, organizations, ideas, photos, gifs, memes, stories, resources and oh my gawd so much more. You... Read more »

Lunch: A Love Story

Meal preparation is my least favorite mom chore. Especially dinner, because fuck that shit, you know? When I say, “Fuck you, Dinner,” it isn’t just shtick. That’s seriously my mantra and life motto. By dinnertime, I’m tired and my ADHD meds are completely out of my system. I can’t take more stimulant medication, or I’ll... Read more »

How to tie a f*cking tie

My son has his eighth grade spring formal today so I bought him a spiffy new outfit, sans the necktie, since my husband has a gazillion for him to choose from. I sent my son into the shit-hole that is his dad’s closet to pick one out, because I’m too afraid to even open the... Read more »

A few things about parenting and listening (and farting)

“Can you say ‘Momma? Say ‘ball? ‘Moo’ says the cow. Can you say ‘moo?’” I said these things hundreds of times to my kids when they were babies, encouraging them to talk. “’Why don’t you ever ask for Daddy? No, I don’t have time to play ball with you. Stop ‘mooing,’ Little Cow, you are... Read more »