Posts in category "The Lady Boner Chronicles"

What I know about parenting a teenager because I remember what it felt like to be a teenager being parented

Now that I am the parent of a teenager, I find that I am spending a lot of time trying not to be an asshole in response to some of the asshole things he does. Just when I hit my stride and feel like I “get” my kids, they change and their needs change and... Read more »

Twatter: Social Media for Senior Citizens

In honor of National Blog Posting Month – #NaBloPoMo, I’ve decided to feature some insanely talented guest blogger buddies of mine here on Moms Who Drink And Swear: Chicago Edition. This is the second guest post in the series and holy shit…I can’t even tell you how much I love it without making joyful noise,... Read more »

Abby has issues with Target

In honor of National Blog Posting Month – #NaBloPoMo, I’ve decided to feature some insanely talented guest blogger buddies of mine here on Moms Who Drink And Swear: Chicago Edition. I don’t want you to choke on the funny, so please put down your drink and swallow that gob of you kid’s Halloween candy you... Read more »
Advertisement:

I Love the C-Word

I asked my friend Kim who writes the blog,

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans

She also wore a fucking mime costume to the mall and went naked at a nude beach.
Ebola. JUST KIDDING! I want to tell you something that will inspire you so fucking much, you will either change a few things in your life, do nothing different, OR maybe you will do that stupid negative self talk like a wussy and be jealous and all, “I’m a loser,” and talk yourself out of... Read more »

Another post about lice because OMG fuck lice!

A descendant of American Revolution Heroes tweeted this to me today. I got itchy because FUCK LICE! It’s so awful in every fucking way that just thinking about when my family had to deal with the blood sucking bastards makes my sympathetic nervous system go ape shit. APE SHIT I SAY! Here is the tweet.... Read more »
Advertisement:

Teachable moments and assholes

I hope both of my children will grow up to be confident and independent adults. It would kill me if, as adults, they turned out to be mom’s basement dwelling assholes, unable to hack it in the real world. I’m trying to do my part as a parent to teach them the basic life skills... Read more »

I wonder if I am I spending too much time thinking about Nate Berkus

Not too long ago, I was walking around Target and came across the Nate Berkus Collection. Mmmm…Nate Berkus. Mmm…bath towels. Oh, and shut up already about telling me how he is gay, and married, and has a baby on the way, and that there is not a chance in hell for me to be Nate’s... Read more »

Do you know how much your kids know about penises?

Pop music is the weirdest. Think about it! Sir Mix-a-lot’s song about loving a lady with a huge padonkadonk has become a sort of classic, and I use the term classic loosely, but you know what I mean. Everybody knows at least a few of the lyrics, gods help me, I know all of them.... Read more »
Advertisement:

Snuggle up with syphilis

Would your like to snuggle up at night with your own plushy, stuffed version of a giant microbe like the syphilis spirochete bacterium? If this interests you, you can also get silky soft versions of chlamydia, pubic lice, or even gonorrhea for your creepy cuddling pleasure. My friend K sent me an email with a... Read more »