My friend, Justin, thinks Throwback Thursday is stupid. Throwback Thursday is a thing on social media. People post old photos and cards and journals and books and ticket stubs and whatever old crap they can drag out of their mom's basement. Maybe it is stupid, but I love it. I love social media and I love Throwback fucking Thursday!
I said I love iiiiiiit. Hashtaaaaaaaaaag Throwback Thursday!
I realize that there is so much not to like online and on the various social media platforms, and with the recent news that Facebook fucked up your newsfeed six ways to Sunday to see if they could shred your self esteem, allegedly, it makes sense that you might be a bit sour on all things social media. I beg you to withhold your angergasm for just a bit and consider the good stuff.
If you are falling out of love with the social media because of the negativity or any other reason, I highly recommend participating in stuff that is fun, like following dog breeds on Instagram and posting pictures of yourself or someone you love or miss or whatever on Thursday, which on social media sites is hashfuckingtagged as #TBT. It's like Woman Crush Wednesday, but it's on Thursday, and there are a lot more pictures of dead people. I mean, the pictures aren't of their dead bodies, but you know what I mean. There are lot of pictures of the no longer breathing. Somehow it manages to be joyful. Memories, Yo!
You can't NOT enjoy it.
That's right. You cannot not.
And yes, I realize I could have phrased that better, but I didn't feel like it. Anyway, I'm going to prove it that you cannot NOT enjoy the fashion fuckery of Throwback Thursday, by sharing some photos with you today. You may never love or trust social media again, or even come to enjoy it the way you did when it was new to you and not full of fuckery, but if you don't crack a smile looking at these pics, I don't want to know you, because you are probably an asshole.
Above is a photo of yours truly, enjoying a delicious dirt snack. Notice the small, white bow scotch fucking taped to my bald fucking head. You are welcome. P.S. That dog that you see in the background is dead. My parents told us that she went to live on a farm where she'd have space to run and stop trying to hang herself on our chain link fence and narrowly miss getting hit by cars. Her name was Taffy. I think of her often when I take the Facebook quiz to see what my porn name would be and it always asks for my first pet's name. Good ole Taffy. Good ole Facebook quizzes!
And this sweet motherfucker is moi all dressed up like a rainbow. My mom crafted the fuck out of everything, and evidence of this can be seen on the knotty fucking pine wall. See that bitchen hook rug masterpiece? Yeah you do! Again, you are welcome. I'm still alive, but I'm going to die someday. Maybe even tomorrow. It could happen and you will be glad to have these photos to remember me by.
That magnificent bastard is a glimpse into my life in 1976. I was wearing my Kennedy fucking space suit. I know. I look amazing. I might be rolling a booger between my left thumb and index finger. I might not. My brother looks like he might be pooping in his pants or at least letting out a bit of gas. He might not, but the odds are good that both of us are being fucking disgusting. My dad is the handsome dude in the middle, holding a smoke. He's totally dead. Because smoking. I'm so glad this photo still exists.
Anyway, these photos make me happy. Throwback Thursday is awesome. Social media isn't going anywhere so find something you like about it and have some fun, okay? Okay. And maybe that thing will be Throwback Thursday! I hope so, because in my humble opinion, it really is the best thing on social media these days.