Ladies, you need to STOP feeling me up!

Lyletta, the author of the ChicagoNow hosted blog, I Hate My Developer, taught me never to touch a black girl's hair. EVER. She's also helped me become more of a bad ass in terms of setting boundaries and saying NO to things instead of feeling like I owe people a YES. Lyletta is good with boundaries and that's why it kills me that people have such a hard time respecting hers.

I've never had anyone straight up grab my fun bags and start messing with them. At least not anyone who wasn't using them as food source, fitting them for a good bra, checking them for cancer or married to me. It just chaps my ASS that people do this to Lyletta. I do understand why a person would want to though, because she's bold, beautiful and big breasted - very appealing indeed.

Her beauty and buxomness is not, however, an excuse for people - women in particular - to reach out to squeeze her tantalizing ta-tas. It's driving her insane, with good reason, because whatever the fuck reason would anyone have for violating a person's physical boundaries in this way? I'll let Lyletta tell you about tit. I mean about IT.

Ladies, you need to STOP feeling me up!
By Lyletta Robinson

Ladies, I think we need to sit down and have a serious talk.

I’ve had just about enough of the drunken boobie grabbing; specifically drunkenly grabbing my boobies.

Get your hands off of my rack.

I thought I had this topic under control a few years ago when I addressed my gay friends but clearly I was wrong.

As a general rule, I don’t like people putting their hands on me. I’ve never liked it, I probably never will. So when someone goes to grab the lady parts above my waist, it takes a tremendous amount of self control to not punch them.

Here’s how it usually goes---I’m out with a group of friends or meet new friendly people at a bar. We’re all consuming adult beverages and having a good time. Then it happens. Some drunken broad either motorboats me or wraps her hand (or hands) around my sweater kittens.

Hilarity ensues.

Everyone is yucking it up except for me.

So let me make myself clear ladies---stop it. Stop it right now before I put my hands on you in a way you most definitely won’t like.

don't touch

I don’t know when it became popular to feel up other women, but this is a trend I could live without.

I’m not sure why women think they should be able to get away with grabbing the boobs of other women when if a man did it, he be in the back of a squad car in handcuffs.

Excuse me, a straight man.

No matter how much I like you, taking liberties with my body is unwarranted and unwelcome. It’s demeaning and unnecessary. Just because the sexual aggression comes from someone who also has a pair of ovaries does not make it right in any way.

Ironically, I have been felt up by some of the most stunning women---usually while their boyfriends and husbands are in close proximity. I don’t know if this is a commentary on their relationship, if they’re sexually adventurous (a lot of people are you know) or if the woman is also attracted to women more than she’d like to admit.

That’s none of my business.

All I want you to do is to keep your hands off of my tits.

“God, mine aren’t that big. They look so amazing.”

“They look so comfortable and awesome.”

“I couldn’t help myself.”

Those are the litany of bullshit excuses I get after I’ve been grabbed.

I don’t care how you attempt to dress up or excuse your actions, they’re wrong. You either have a drinking problem or larger issues that you have to face---either way my boobs shouldn’t have to pay the price for your internal struggles.

Stop it. Now. It’s not cool. It’s not cute. I don’t like it.

Keep your hands to your mother*cking self.

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