Does forced intimacy make a difference? The aftermath of Red & Company's 30 day sex challenge

My colleague, Tara, did a 30 day sex challenge that intrigued me. She committed to having sex with her husband every day for 30 days - in a row you read that right - in order to increase their intimacy. Clever girl! You can read about it HERE. Tara is the ginger-riffic writer of the blog Red & Company here on ChicagoNow. I asked her what happened AFTER the 30 day sex challenge and this is her lovely written answer in the form of a guest blog post.

The aftermath of the 30 day sex challenge - Tara Scalzo

This whole thing started on a dare. My Hubby dared me to have sex with him for 30 days straight, just to see what happens. Would it bring us closer? Would this increase our level of intimacy and communication? Would this change the dynamic of our marriage?

As ridiculous as his proposal was, I was completely intrigued. So I agreed, with one stipulation – I was able to blog about it. Every single day. Every single detail.

Well, ok. Not every single detail, because this is a family show, and ya’ll can put 2 and 2 together to figure out the logistics. You can read about my naughty little challenge here.

Apparently, my sex life gained the interest of a local television station and a predominate radio station here in town. So I made my appearances and talked my shit, completely astound that anyone really cared at all.

Don’t get me wrong – I am thankful for that time. We usually only get 15 minutes of fame. I was allowed 22. And I humbly worked those 22 minutes for every thing they were worth.

So now what?

Months later, I’m still asked, was that whole challenge worth the effort?

And I always answer with the most passive-aggressive response possible: yes, and no.

*Yes, we had more sex.

*No, we did not have sex every day.

*Yes, our intimacy increased.

*Yes, we connected more than ever.

*Yes, after being together for 9 years, it took effort.

*No, it wasn’t always easy. Having a family, we had to steal time, which was difficult.

*Yes, after this challenge ended, the intimacy decreased.

I’m not going to lie. Once the focus ended, things went back to the status quo. My libido is not what it once was. His workload had increased. The life stressors only seem to multiply, day by day.

But ya know what? My passion for my husband never wanes. I married this man for a reason. I am still intrigued by him. He makes me think, he challenges me, and holy hell, that man blows my mind in bed!

So let’s break it down to the Do Yous -

*Do you love your hubby? Oh hell yea.

*Do you remain faithful? Totally.

*Do you allow him to hold your heart? Absolutely.

*Do you stand by him, no matter what? Yea, I already fucking proved that.

*Do you think he’s a good dad? The most dedicated I’ve ever seen.

*And sex? The best lover ever.

*Do you desire him? Completely.

We’ve gone beyond sex. This is a commitment most don’t experience. Some days I want to jump him…other days I want to knock him into the nearest wall.

And so it is. This is love.

You can find Tara screwing around on facebook and twitter, come join the party!

Me and Tara. Full disclosure, we did not have sex. Ever.

Me and Tara. Full disclosure, we did not have sex. Ever.

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