The following is a re-post of a blog from September of 2011, soon after I became involved with St. Baldricks. I love hosting events and meeting people, and despite the pain it gives me to hear the stories of childhood cancer, it's an honor to be able to DO something, even if it's not much. I can't cure the disease or bring a child back, but I can try to help those who need it by not being a fucking tool. Hope you enjoy this post and get involved with Donna's Good Things and St. Baldricks by clicking on this links at the end of the rant.
My mom is a lady and a woman of few words. Clearly, I take after my father. Cancer took him in 2003. The first time I heard my mom say, “cancer sucks” I was shocked. Now when we hear of someone who is battling cancer, she will shake her head and say, “Cancer sucks.” She doesn’t say anything else. There isn’t really anything else to say yet people have a LOT to say about cancer.
It really is that simple. Cancer sucks. Anyone who has had any proximity to cancer knows that it is an all consuming, soul sucking, whore of a disease. It steals the dignity and spirit of its victims and their families with its unpredictable and opportunistic appetite for destruction. The details are depressing and difficult to digest. I remember when people would ask me how my dad was doing, it was just simpler to say, and “Cancer sucks.”
One of my first memories was running amok around a funeral home where my grandfather was being waked. I was 6 years old and my cousin and I were tearing up the place! Running by his casket, I’d stop to take a peek, look at the tie-tack with all of these grandchildren’s birth stones, touch his cold, hard hand and tell him that I’d miss him before taking another lap around the room. Because I was constantly around sick and dying people for the next 5 years, I got used to hearing all the talk about God and His plans. I never believed for a hot second that God planned for anyone to get cancer and I think it’s an insult to God to even suggest such a thing. I’ve been trying to defend God against this slander for about 30 years now.
Cancer is a bad and stupid thing. Nobody likes it, and nobody wants it. Anybody that likes God in any way, shouldn’t be talking smack about how he would make some conscious decision to create and slap a rare and impossible to contain toxic tumor on the brain of a CHILD! Seriously, does that make us feel better?
To blame God?
And around a child who thinks in black and white who is already in pain and afraid. “Hey little one! This torture and agony? Well, God chose you. It’s the plan for you.”
Oh my God, shut the fuck UP!
It’s a bag of flaming crap, suggesting that cancer could be part of any plan. It’s as ridiculous and useless blaming God for my sucky grammar and spelling. I mean do we really think God is a soul crushing jackass who has such little regard for humanity as to engage in the cruel business of choosing who gets the biggest dose of suffering?
We are born and we die. Nobody knows for sure about the before and after life stuff, because we have to leave our bodies behind and the next place we go uses a different form of communication. I know this because if it was the same, we’d all be having chitchat with our dead loved ones and there would be a rad instruction book to give us the 411. There are just some things that are so obvious that it pains me to even have to listen to some ignoramus spewing out their gob about what they know about God. Like I said before - bag…of…crap.
Trust me on a few things here; 1) Cancer sucks 2) If God were a person (which God is not) and God was capable of hate (which God is not) God would probably hate cancer. Being all knowing and all powerful, the facts support God knowing how much cancer sucks therefore God surely does NOT like it, therefore God would NOT do #3 which is next here, 3) God does not decide who gets cancer as part of a plan. When I hear someone say, “This is part of God’s plan,” I have to run in the other direction so that I don’t pound him or her into pulp with my raging fists, while ripping off a furious verbal beat down.
Faith doesn’t have room for logic and logic doesn’t have room for crap. They can co-exist, but they go together about as well as peanut butter, cognac and urine. It’s taken me awhile to get to my point, but I do have one.
If you really want to help someone who is dealing with shitty cancer or has a loved one who is, then don’t shit-talk about God. DO SOMETHING. Actions speak much louder than words during a time when suffering and fear is great. Seriously, don't be a fucking tool and start talking about God's plan. YOU don't fucking know God's plan, motherfucker. Knock that shit off right pronto.
My friend and colleague here at ChicagoNow, Mary Tyler Mom (and Mary Tyler Dad and Mary Tyler Son and Mary Tyler Baby), of Donna's Good Things, are once again hosting an amazing fund raiser/ head shaving even for St. Baldricks in honor and memory of the beautiful Donna Quirke Hornik who has now been gone from this earth longer than she was here living on it.
That’s just stupid and sucky and it’s not fault of God. She didn’t lose a battle or succumb to fate, she got cancer and she died. It is that simple and that horrible. You can’t make it better, but you can stop making it worse by blaming God and standing around doing nothing for the children who are suffering.
Get involved. Tis the season for going bald, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Rest in peace, sweet Donna. See you on the other side. You can read Donna's Cancer Story HERE.