If the Internet offends you, then why the hell don't you stay the f*&k off the Internet?

I feel a bit guilty that I truly enjoy watching people go ape-shittical and over-react to perceived injustices. I feel a bit guilty that I sometimes post something on my Facebook page that I know will draw out the lunatics.

Fuck it. I’m lying! I have NO guilt!

It fascinates me. Internet outrage is amusing. The therapist in me loves watching the fallout that inevitably follows the posting of a hot button issue. I read a piece on this topic recently and it covered just about everything. The only thing I would add is that so often people get outraged and explode into a tirade after reading one of two sentences of an article and don’t even bother to finish. This is the pinnacle of idiocy as far as I’m concerned, because so often they go on a rant that turns out to be filled with fuck-upedness because they don’t have their facts straight, or they missed the point by missing the goddamn point.

I like it when I feel the thumpy-thumping deep in my soul, the overwhelming fear that I am somehow less than others, or not good enough, and then I quickly identify the ridiculousness of it and a flood of relief washes over me. It’s a self-confidence and insight speedball and let me tell you right fucking now, it is the BEST high ever. Being aware of my own shortcomings and inadequacies makes me happy. It decreases my risk of becoming one of the ape-shittical shitheads that amuse others on the Internet with their outrage; outraged that is cloaked in fear and loathing.

Feel the Internet burn!

Feel the Internet burn!

Last night, on my Facebook page for this blog, I posted a quippy little nothing status about how I actually clicked on a sidebar ad and found that instead of absorbing and enjoying the information of the link destination, I ended up in what I call the short attention span theatre. I go there a lot. Not on purpose, but we ADHD peeps tend to tune out things we aren’t interested in and quickly ride a mind cloud elsewhere. Goddamn Lululemon! I was interested for a moment, but after a couple of sentences, I found myself wondering about why Legos were so damn expensive. The Lululemon story was not doing it for me. At least not the way it was presented and as long as I’m being honest, I hated the color of the web page. The color turned me off. I wanted to see the picture of tanning-mom tone tan dude with the big, white chompers! If I had seen the bronzed boy grinning, I might have stayed and learned about the Lululemon.

I know. But in my defense, it was late at night and my meds had totally worn off.

Will you humor me and give it a little thinky-poo for a sec? Lululemon is known for being a status boosting brand of clothing in some circles and anyone who knows what Lululemon is, also knows that the stuff has a high price point. I know plenty of people who love the stuff, and swear that if I were to suck it up and spend the cash, I would never want to wear any other yoga pants while sitting on my ass eating gummy bears and drinking wine ever again. I don’t believe them because let’s face it; some designer brands are pricey, yet the quality is shoddy as fuck. A smart consumer pays attention to this, especially if that consumer doesn’t have a money tree. But honestly, that wasn’t really the point I was trying to make. I wasn’t really trying to make a point at all!

There is often no method to my madness, that's why it's fucking madness. Sheesh....

I was just being my usual self! Pithy, distractible, sarcastic and naughty is my schtick and has been for what, five years now (in blog form, longer in real life)? I’ve never claimed to be anything but a screwy gal, trying to find the meaning of life by living it and sharing my musings in blog/blather form. Taking me seriously is as wise as trusting a fart. But I need to get back to the Lego pondering before you go all “Nikki on the Lululemon page” on me.

Why ARE Legos so fucking expensive?

I know why, but I don’t know why. Why is everything so expensive? Why can’t there be a happy medium? It seems to me that there is such a massive growing dichotomy in and about every goddamn thing these days.

What the mother of holy FUCK happened to meeting in the middle?

Where is the gray area?

The middle of the road - don’t fucking go there unless you want to get plowed down!

ROAD HOG!

ROAD HOG!

So I guess what I’m saying is that although I know that sometimes the stuff I post on Facebook has the potential to get people would up, the random cuckoo as fuck shit people come up with never stops surprising me and making me laugh. The fearful, angry and insecure outraged comments that permeate a conversation thread on my page are truly astounding.

ASTOUNDING motherfuckers!

The good news is that I learned some good shit about Legos and Lululemon last night. The people who provided links to YouTube videos about Legos and information about the quality and product guarantees for Lululemon really enlightened me. I took my meds today and did a little further research. I still think shit is too expensive. I do. Not sorry either! I think it is truly ball sack sucking bad that regular folks get stuck with crap quality food, toys and clothes, because we can’t afford the high-end goods and still afford to keep the lights on in our homes. Awww, but I guess that’s life, right? You get what you pay for and if you want to be able to pay for the good stuff, you gotta do what it takes to earn that stuff. I believe in that too. I DO!

Oh, but now I’ve started a conversation about stratified social inequality and although I was just being my opinionated, curt, flaky, smart ass self, I am sure someone stopped reading after the sentence about the ball sack sucking and is already preparing their outraged response to this post.

I can’t fucking wait to read it.

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