Archive for June 2013

10 things I will need if there is a zombie apocalypse

Q-tips –I quiver in fear just thinking about a world where these ear orgasm inducing cotton swabs do not exist. I know I’m not supposed to put anything smaller than my elbow in my ear, but I give not a fuck about that rule. The sounds I make when cleaning out my ears could, and actually should, be recorded and used as background noise for porn movies and phone sex lines. If my ears aren't clean, how will I hear the zombies?
My friend and fellow author, Susan Reinhardt, has a new book coming out, Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle. Don’t let the title fool you, this is not a book about zombies or the zombie apocalypse. It is actually a work of fiction, set in the south, with rich and whack characters. Me like. I... Read more »

This is not a blog about alcoholism, but that doesn't mean you aren't an alcoholic

The title of my blog can be off putting for some, as they assume it is simply a blog that encourages moms to embrace alcoholism and bad language as part of their parenting repertoire. I’m often asked why I write a blog that encourages parents to curse and get liquored up to deal with the... Read more »

Good Luck Charlie does good for the LGBT community

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve written anything that had the potential to bring out the ignorant, over-sensitive, butt-hurt, internet troll, shit-talkers, and every once in a while, a girl just needs a little rumble so here goes a little something-something! BRAVO to the writers of the Disney channel series, Good Luck Charlie! The popular... Read more »
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I am Tony Soprano and so are you

I am Tony Soprano and so are you
I just want you to know that if you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s probably because I’m dead. I’m not afraid to die, but I don’t want to. Not yet. I’ve got so many things I still want to do! But people my age DO die ya know? It happens everyday. It... Read more »

Finding parenting advice in peculiar places

If you do a Google search for the best parenting websites, you will not, I repeat NOT, come across my blog, which is a good thing, because I have no advice for you about parenting aside from the obvious stuff that even a toddler playing with dolls knows. But for some reason, my book gets... Read more »

Scowler by Daniel Kraus: A Wiener Reader's Book Review

I’m both embarrassed and excited to report that my new book club is ah-may-zing! It might just be the most bizarre and fantastic organization I’ve ever been a part of in my entire LIFE, and that’s saying something because I’ve seen and done and been amidst some whacked out wonkiness in my 43 years. You... Read more »
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How often should married people have sex part two: Holidays

This Sunday is Father’s Day. I’m not a father, but I think I speak for most men when I say that they would like to have the gift of sex on this upcoming Father’s Day. More than once if you are feeling particularly generous and find yourself with a few extra kid free moments. Seriously,... Read more »

How often should married people have sex: Part one

S    Are you going to blog about this conversation? Me    Do you think I should blog about it? S    You should. It would be so funny. You are so funny! Me    I know. I really am funny. Funny Nikki. Well….I might write about it. S    Just don’t mention me by... Read more »

Step Up for Autism : The top three ways you can help a family who has a child who has autism

Step Up for Autism : The top three ways you can help a family who has a child who has autism
Seven years ago, I wasn’t surprised when told my daughter needed some occupational therapy. I was surprised when the occupational therapist followed me out to the car after the assessment, giving me some tips while I furiously scribbled down names of books and accessories I would need at home to support my two year old... Read more »
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Some sh*tty spellers who still found a way to shine

Agatha Christie - BESTSELLING NOVELIST OF ALL TIME was thought to be the "slow one" in her family - a notoriously shitty speller.
Being a bad speller does not, I repeat NOT, mean that a person lacks intelligence . As a matter of fact, it might interest you to know that some people who were quite famous for their wit and wisdom were shitty spellers. Spelling is a special skill, but if you suck at it, you don’t... Read more »