Oh Missy you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind! Hey Missy!
I don’t know if Melissa McCarthy likes to be called Missy, but when I talk or sing about her, that’s what I call her. And I sing that song about her every time I see her on the boob tube or in a funny film or read an interview with her in a magazine or online. I like to imagine Missy and I sitting around draining a nice box of Franzia, singing to each other about how fine we are. Fine ass bitches indeed.
I’d buy a lock of her hair on eBay.
I love her.
I wish we were sisters.
Look how cute we look together
Speaking of sisters, Good Housekeeping, one of the seven sisters of mom-lady magazines, had the good sense to interview Melissa for their November issue. Read it here. Well done, GH, but then you pretty regularly choose high quality peeps for your cover feature: Strong in character, realistic women who are relatable and fabulous in their own way.
But back to the November issue. Nothing kicks starts the holiday season with happiness like an inspiring and heartwarming interview with a witty, warm, brilliant and down to earth gal who has her head on straight and my bestie, Missy is all of those things and more. She is simply amaze balls. Here is a quote from the interview in Good Housekeeping where she addresses the sad truth that no matter how much progress we make toward self-improvement, it never seems like enough.
“You just have to say, ‘It’s pretty damn good. I am right here at the moment, and I’m O.K with it. I’ve got other things to think about.’” Melissa McCarthy
Right on Miss Thang! But please read the entire interview here before continuing to read this blog.
Did you read it carefully? DIDYOUREADITCAREFULLY?
Okay, so here’s the truth about how I came across this sweet, sweet piece about Missy. I was letting my ADHD make me its bitch while surfing the Internet the other day when I came across several links to this article, all of which included a quote from the article. You know what quote most of the media sites that linked this article used? The one where Miss-Thing (I call her that too. Really I have so many pet names for her) acknowledged that sometimes does wishes she could magically be a size 6 and not have to worry about her body. I won’t give that shit a peep here on MY blog other than referencing it's existence for the purpose of this post. It was one sentence in an otherwise bold and inspirational piece about a woman who is to me, and many others like me, more magical than the most glorious of unicorns.
IT IS SO IGNORANT THAT FROM THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW WITH THIS AMAZING, BRILLIANT, KIND, CONFIDENT, WONDERFUL WOMAN, MOST OF THE M-FERS ZEROED IN ON THE ONE THING THAT REALLY DOESN’T REPRESENT MELISSA MCCARTHY AT ALL!
I’m disgusted with myself for allowing this overblown defensive reaction to what shouldn’t surprise me at all. The shallow ignorance so prevalent in the media today that sucks the credibility out of almost every single source of information today.
So what I want to say to all you idiots in charge of website content is this – (climbs on soapbox)
You are full of the kind of dumbfuckery that makes people like me, people who happen to be in the most valuable consumer demographic in terms of who is pumping cash into the economy right now, not want to spend and not want to buy your stupid magazines or read your online garbage. You don't speak to real women. Instead of focusing on Melissa McCarthy’s magnetic confidence and healthy attitude towards her life – as a whole – you chose the one and only thing in the article that might you knew would spark the interest and play on the insecurities of women everywhere.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I wish I could punch you in the nuts.
Here is just a little bit of what I took from the article (please enjoy my fancy bullet points):
A) McCarthy is committed to a healthy lifestyle and goes about achieving her health goals in a safe and realistic way.
II) Missy (that’s what I call her sometimes) is a devoted mother who is passionate about role modeling a balanced lifestyle for her daughters.
Addendum C-17) Melissa McCarthy has a way of seamlessly integrating her humor and humanity into her personal and professional life, yet she is a tough as nails, hardworking woman who knows what it takes to maintain her dignity and continue to be true to her own values in a grossly unrealistic business.
2.4) Good Housekeeping continues to be a source of positive and inspiring information for women like me, women who do seek to be make our homes and our families and ourselves GOOD.
In May of 1885, Clark W. Bryan started Good Housekeeping with the purpose of creating “a family journal conducted in the interests of the higher life of the household.” Fuck yeah, Clark. Read about Good Housekeeping and the Good Housekeeping seal of approval by clicking the Good Housekeeping link at the beginning of this paragraph.
Thanks to Good Housekeeping for consistently addressing the interests of our lives in a genuine way that motivates women. Thanks to Melissa McCarthy for being so ridiculously awesome. Unlike so many other publications for women who rely on housefraus insecurity and boredom to finagle us into the cloying romanticism of shallow, unrealistic lives of celebrities, you keep it real.
You have MY seal of approval.
*In the spirit of full disclosure, Good Housekeeping did not pay me to write this and I am not being compensated by them for this blog post. As a matter of fact, I’m sure if they get wind of it, they will be horrified to be associated with a potty-mouthed freakazoid like me. That being said, I do hope Missy will head out to Plainfield and teach me to make her kick ass 3-step Veggie soup, because even though I fucking hate veggies, I’d eat them enthusiastically if it meant spending the day with a woman of her caliber, cooking soup and hopefully draining a box of Franzia, who also isn’t compensating me for my mention of their product (although they should).
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Tags: Bridesmaids Melissa McCarthy, Good Housekeeping, Good Housekeeping seal of approval, healthy body image for young girls, healthy eating, healthy recipes, Melissa McCarthy, Mike and Molly, Moms who drink and swear, Moms who drink and swear the book, Nicole Knepper, Nicole Knepper book, role modeling healthy body image for women, Seven Sisters publishing